Last week we talked about Sexual Intimacy and what it takes to cultivate this closeness in marriage. In a culture that craves sex it is ironic that marriages are often sex-starved. Either for lack of sex or because of the quality of sex we’re experiencing.
There is a new book climbing the best-sellers list at lightning speed. The first in a trilogy of books titled, Shades of Grey, it is a fictional story about a young, college student and her encounter with a successful, attractive businessman. I have read only a few sample pages available on Amazon, but it is obvious the hook is intended to draw women into Ana’s world as she begins a relationship with Christian Grey. Below is the book description on Amazon’s website:
Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.
Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.
Why mention this obviously secular book? Because shockingly, it is growing in popularity among Christian women–women who enjoy reading a good book. But this book is hardly good, nor is it innocent. It has the ability to entice unsatisfied wives with a desire to have something more. It is discontentment unabated.
We write this post today as a warning; If you are not happy in your relationship with your husband, then seeking to fulfill this unhappiness in a fantasy world is only going to cause your marriage more harm.
When we were first married I loved to watch soap operas. It was a world totally separate from Tom. He had no idea of my afternoon obsession. I knew it wasn’t portraying a godly lifestyle, but I figured what harm could it do? It wasn’t real.
How deceived and naive I was. It wasn’t until I had a dream about this fantasy world (that was more like a nightmare), that I realized these shows were having a strong influence on me and my emotional state. By God’s conviction and His grace to say no to it, I haven’t watched one since!
How I wish I had had someone to warn me of the danger, the darkness, lurking in these fantasy worlds. These demons are invited into our homes and hearts and begin the process of dismantling our contentment.
1 Timothy 6:6, “But godliness with contentment is great gain…”
We understand there are women hurting in marriages led by distant husbands. They neglect their calling to lovingly lead and to lay down their lives for their wife as Christ did for the church. This is a real problem which causes real pain, but the answer can never be found in the fantasy world. This is a lie by the enemy who wants nothing more than to destroy every Christian home he can.
We are a part of a larger group called The Christian Marriage Bloggers Association. Together we are addressing this issue with the hope of helping wives say no to this temptation by providing knowledge about the danger of what some are calling, “Mommy Porn.”
Mommy Porn is on the rise in large part because of the anonymity available through e-readers. No longer can others see what you’re reading on the plane, in the mall, or even as you lie in bed next to your husband at night. This is providing easy access and a greater temptation to these genres of books, in much the same way as pornographic movies have enticed men and women through personal computers.
Are you drawn to romance novels? Do you find yourself longing to experience what the heroine (if you can call them that) does? This is a dangerous road, so we’re sounding the alarm. Please talk to someone. Confess your temptation. Acknowledge to God your discontentment. And most of all seek the grace of God to change. Only He can empower us to resist sin and it’s pull on our hearts. But we can choose not to open the book in the first place. This is a call to fight hard for the health of your marriage. It won’t be easy, but nothing worth fighting for ever is.
Following are more posts on this topic from members of CMBA:
Intimacy in Marriage – Fifty Shades of Great Sex With Your Husband
Mystery32 – Porn for Women
The Alabaster Jar – O Be Careful Little Eyes What You Read
The Generous Husband – A Disturbing Trend In Female Sexual Preferences (Husbands, please read this post. You may be surprised to find your wife is tempted in this way.)
The Generous Wife – Escape Into Grey - Lori provides a great metaphor that may open your eyes to the danger of these types of books in a powerful way.
Marriage By Divine Design – Lead Us Not Into E-Book Temptation
AffairCare- 50 Shades and Infidelity, There Is A Connection
Finally, we want to share with you a video Josh McDowell has produced for his 1 Click Away campaign against pornography. We must warn you, it is graphic and powerful, but the message may just rock the hearts of those who are most addicted to pornography, and it may scare away those who are playing with soft porn. This is our hope and prayer.
May God use these posts to rescue marriages from the sin that so easily entangles us!
How are you doing at resisting temptation?