Has your spouse ever said this to you or implied it? Or have you demanded this from your spouse? Is it about an unresolved conflict in your marriage? Is it because to be fully known in this area would bring embarrassment or shame to one or both of you? This is where marriage blogs can be so helpful. You can find the answers to troubles you’re facing that are a bit too much to share with others, without ever being marked by it.
I remember in our early years when we were facing an issue in our marriage. We were crossing over from knowing most things about each other to the place where we were fully known, and it was troubled waters for sure. So much so that we felt seasick. I didn’t dare tell anyone, so I was left floundering on my own–which I wouldn’t recommend for anyone! It made the management of the issues that much more difficult.
The Truth is, God never intended us to live life in isolation.
We are relational beings, and oftentimes we need the input and wisdom from someone outside of the situation. Someone who can help us see reason without the emotional attachments.
If we had it to do over again, knowing what we know now, we wouldn’t hesitate to seek out the counsel and help of a mentor or pastor. Someone you know will be faithful to tell you the Truth in your difficulty. Truth is the only thing to cling to when you’re in troubled waters. It is the only anchor that will hold no matter the strength of the storm.
Here are some difficult topics one might hesitate to share with others. Are you facing any of these?
- Problems in the bedroom
- Pornography use
- Uncontrolled outbursts of anger
- Addictions of various kinds
- Abuse, past or present
- Not doing well, but you don’t know why
- Whatever is coming to your mind right now!
Please know that as long as you allow these issues to be kept secret, it will continue to grow. Hidden sin or trouble grows profusely in the dark. Shedding light on it by opening your life and heart up to others brings freedom. The trouble may not go away instantly, but at least you’ll be on the right path to finding the answers and help you need.
The calmest waters are found after a storm has passed. You can either choose to stay unanchored where you’ll be driven by the storm wherever it leads, or do the hard work to throw an anchor in the wind. It will be worse as the storm continues, but calm waters are sure to follow. And know this–the peace will be better than any you’ve experienced before. This is how marriages get better and better as the years pass; taking the storms head-on and learning all you can in the process about yourself and your spouse.
Marriage blogs are a great resource, but they can never, nor should they ever, replace real face-to-face communication with those who know and love you.
Next week, starting on Monday, a dear friend of our’s is running a series that will hit on the specifics of how to deal with some of these secret problems. I am privileged to provide a post for her. I hope you’ll click over to Faith Rising blog and sign up to receive her posts via e-mail so you don’t miss a single one. This may be the anchor you’re marriage needs.