It Matters

How well do you watch your words when you’re around your children, your friends? Do they hear you talk down to your spouse? Do they hear you react to a request or question? If so, you’re like the majority of other parents. We are sinners after all, but…

What you do after such situations is what determines your maturity level.

If you do nothing, you are missing a great opportunity to grow in maturity and to set a godly example on how to train your children to deal with conflict. The next obvious question is how do you handle it?

It’s simple, but easily missed. The answer is to be quick to apologize. Not just say, I’m sorry! But to sincerely tell your spouse you don’t want to be this way. That you want to change and learn to guard your tongue in an effort to honor them and glorify God. Better yet, follow up this apology with another one to your children or to your friends. When they see you’re serious about it, they’ll take notice. You may not ever hear it in words, but the next time they talk down to their spouse, it’s likely they’ll remember your example.

Let’s start a new trend of being the first to apologize.

Let’s commit in the New Year to changing our normal way of doing things. Let’s purpose to grow in maturity and godliness in 2014. Let’s humbly ask God to help us in ways we haven’t been able to help ourselves. Nothing is impossible with Him. He loves to make His name great by changing us in ways we could never change on our own. If we do, God will be glorified, and our marriage will benefit greatly from it.

Happy New Year to you and your spouse. ♥

NOTE: If you’re looking for ways to bless your spouse on this last day of 2013, be sure to check out our Romantic New Year’s Ideas under the Only Husband/Wives tabs at the top of the page.

This entry was posted in Christian Marriage, communication, Conflict, Growing Strong Marriages. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to It Matters

  1. Timely post, Debi. These last weeks I’ve been especially “short” ( and even snippy, if I were to be candid) with Rob. I don’t think I’ve apologized THIS much, and on a regular basis in our 30+ years together. My cue to when I’m needing to apologize is seeing Rob bite his tongue before NoT responding himself. Fortunately he has a lot more self control than I do… Yes. Time to look to (and spend quiet time with) the One who can make the difference in me.

    Thanks for sharing and blessing me, Debi.

    • Debi Walter says:

      Lori,
      I deal with the same thing, where Tom has more self-control. I’m glad to have encouraged you today. May you and Robert find yourself more in love with each other and The Lord in 2014.
      Blessings,
      Debi

  2. Dan says:

    It’s hard when you have a type A person married to a quiet person. I don’t always catch when I am being inconsiderate or even rude. Fortunately, my wife is growing in her capability to let me know in a timely manner when I am heading or have headed in that direction. This helps me to respond in an appropriately mature and loving manner to her!

    • Debi Walter says:

      Dan,
      This is what a healthy marriage looks like–not perfect, but one that notices where you’re lacking and works on that one area. The adage is true, we mustn’t despise small beginnings–forward is good, no matter how small a step is in the right direction.
      Thanks for sharing,
      Tom and Debi

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