Soil Samples

It’s very important to test the soil on the vineyard to see if it has the necessary nutrients to grow your chosen variety of grapes.  If it is found lacking, the remedy is simple – add the needed nutrient before planting the vines.

Welcome to one of the most beneficial rooms on our blog; it’s the place to come to find great questions for a meaningful date night.  It’s where we sample the soil to see what nutrients are lacking in our relationship.  It’s where biblical fellowship is cultivated and matured.

Have you ever been out to dinner and wanted to talk but had nothing to say?  Ok, I haven’t either,   but just in case, this is the place to guarantee a deeper level of communication.  Below are some questions to help you take a sample of the quality of soil in which your relationship is growing.  If you don’t find questions right away that appeal to you, keep scrolling – our list is quite extensive insuring you’ll find something worth discussing.

Conversation Starters for Married Couples

Date Night Conversation Starters

Dinner Conversation Starters – these are good to use with another couple, but can also be used personally.

4,000 Questions for Getting To Know Anyone and Everyone, by Barbara Ann Kipfer

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1.     As you were growing up, what was unique about your family as compared to other families in your neighborhood, or families of your friends?

2.     What do you remember about learning to drive?

3.     Can you recall visiting your parents’ workplace and if so, describe it and how you felt when you went there?

4.     Complete the sentence: “I’m sure my mom and dad wished I would have…”

5.     What is perhaps the worst movie you’ve ever seen? (variation – favorite movie in high school, as a kid, in college, as adult, worst in each category, etc.)

6.     Describe your favorite elementary or high school teacher.

7.     Tell me your most serious physical injury as a child.

8.     Do you daydream? What do you daydream about?

9.     What is the thing you like best about being a parent? The thing you like the least?

10.    What is your favorite memory of the two of us together before we were married? Second favorite?

11.    Name three things I do for you that helps brighten your day and make you feel rested.

12.    What is the best compliment I could give you?

13.    What do I do or say that really bugs you?

14.    When are you the happiest that you married me?

15.    Do I respect and honor you around the children? How about around our friends/coworkers?

16.    Do we show our love and affection to one another enough around our kids?

17.    Do you consider me an optimist or a pessimist? How do you feel about that?

18.    Do I tell you that I love you often enough? Too much?

19.    Do I ever joke about things you wish I wouldn’t? Do I ever joke at times you think are inappropriate?

20.    What do you think we argue about most, big stuff or little stuff?

21.    Is my way of doing things too structured? Too spontaneous? How?

22.    Of all you’ve done in your life, what has made you feel the most proud?

23.    What kind of small gifts can I give you to let you know how much I’m thinking of you?

24.    If money and time weren’t an issue, what would you most like to do?

25.    Let’s come up with 15 minutes a day for the two of us to talk without being interrupted. How can we achieve that?

26.    What things can you always count on me for? (try to name 5)

27.    Do you feel like our marriage is a good example to the kids? In what ways? Are there things we could improve?

28.    Is there anything that you feel like we have a hard time discussing? Why do you think they’re so difficult for us to talk about them?

29.    When did you first notice me? What was the attraction? Is attraction still important?

30.    Have I ever done anything to ‘take the wind out your sails’?

31.    What have you experienced in life that helps you to believe there is a loving God? Has anything ever happened that caused you to doubt that?

32.    Are you ever frightened about the future? If so, what frightens you?

33.    What positive things have our kids added to our lives?

34.    Can you remember the way we felt when our children were born (thankful, in awe)? Do you still feel that way? If not, what would it take for us to feel that way about them more often?

35.    When I get angry with you and you ask for forgiveness, do you feel that I forgive you by my actions as well as by my words?

36.    Do you feel like you’re harder on yourself when you make a mistake than you need to be? How?

37.    Am I harder on you when you make a mistake than I should be? How?

38.    Do you sometimes get the impression that I put conditions on my affection and love for you?

39.    Do you ever feel insecure about my love?

40.    Do you feel like we share the responsibility in our marriage or does one of us shoulder the burden of some areas more than they should (finances, sex, parenting, spiritual matters, household chores)? Are you comfortable with the way things are?

41.    What is your greatest motivation for getting up every day and going to work?

42.    Think of all our married friends. What are some of the positive things you see in their marriages that you’d like to see us do?

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Paul Tripp has some excellent marriage questions on pp. 175-176 of Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands. They are cast in terms of a Biblical counseling scenario, but most are generally useful for any marriage.  Some of his questions are as follows:

1. What things did you see in [me] that made you want to marry [me]?

2. What were your goals for [our] marriage when [we] were engaged?

3. What things in [our] marriage make you sad?

4. What things in [our] marriage make you happy?

5. If you could press a button and change [our] marriage, how would it change?

6. In what ways do you think God is honored by [our] marriage?

7. How would you characterize [our communication]?

8. Describe how [we] arrive at decisions.

9. Describe how [we] resolve conflicts.

10. How would you describe [our] spiritual life as a couple?

11. Are there couples you look up to? What do you respect about their marriages?

12. [In what ways have we] have struggled as a couple? Why?

13. What do you see as the strengths of [our] marriage?

14. What do you see as the weaknesses of [our] marriage?

15. What do you think [we] need to do as a couple to get from where [we] are to where [we] need to be?

16. Describe the marriage of your dreams.

17. What could [I] do to greatly change [our] marriage?

18. What problems in [our] marriage do you see as your responsibility?

19. What do you think God is doing in [our] marriage right now?

20. [What are some obstacles that may keep us] from solving . . . problems?

21. Describe how [our] marriage has changed over the years.

22. When you are hurt or angry with [me], what do you do?

23. How do you communicate dissatisfaction to [me]?