We spend a lot of time on our blog cultivating the art of romantic love between a husband and wife. However, we must make clear what romantic love is and what it isn’t.
In Gary Thomas’ book, Sacred Marriage, he says:
In Hollywood language, romance is expressed as a passive activity. Usually couples will say they have “fallen” in love. Or they may talk about being “swept off their feet.” This passivity is as foreign to Christian love as the moon is to the earth. Christian love is an aggressive movement and an active commitment. In reality we choose where to place our affections.
Donald Harvey writes, “Intimate relationships, as opposed to intimate experiences, are the result of planning. They are built. The sense of union that comes with genuine spiritual closeness will not just happen. If it is present, it is because of definite intent and follow-through on your part. You choose to invest, and do. It’s not left to mere chance.”
It took years for me to understand I have a Christian obligation to continually move toward my wife. I thought that as long as I didn’t attack my wife or say cruel things to her, I was a “nice” husband, but the opposite of biblical love isn’t hate, it’s apathy. To stop moving toward our spouse is to stop loving him or her. It’s holding back from the very purpose of marriage. (pg. 155)
How true! May we continue to move towards our spouses, or we will find ourselves pulling back instead.
God help us to glorify You as we seek to grow our marriages day by day – week by week – year by year.