We were driving in the car recently talking about some things weighing on both of our hearts. It was a conversation most couples have about relational difficulty and how to overcome it. I was struggling more than Tom, so in an effort to bring some resolve to my heart I was being honest with my feelings asking for his help and understanding.
He offered both. But not in the way I expected.
First, he listened. He is so good at it and this is something for which I am very grateful!
Next he understood. He knows my struggle with unresolved conflicts. He knows how I long to have everything go the way they’re supposed to with NO misunderstanding. But life is rarely this way. We are sinners who sin, and this creates messes which are always in need of cleaning up. I don’t want to have to endure. I don’t want to overlook. I don’t want to clean the messes others create. I want all this to be over, but nothing we do seems to help.
The struggle continues.
I would rather do anything else, and my heart is freely telling Tom all about it. In total frustration I blurt out, “Why do I have to go through this over and over again?”
Finally Tom answered, and it melted my heart to tears.
He simply said, “He did!” (He, meaning – Jesus). Tom spoke the Truth my frustrated and irritated heart needed to hear. And the Truth once again set me free!
I remembered how much Christ has done for me. He was willing to endure countless beatings and unrelenting mocking because He loved me – He loved us. He saw the Cross and the pain He would have to go through to make a place for sinners like me, and He was willing. He did it for our good and God’s glory!
Tom spoke the Truth to my soul. With two simple words he silenced the critical spirit within and helped me cry out to God, “Help me glorify You, even in this, Father!”
After 32 years of marriage, I am grateful for a husband who knows me well enough to speak to me in such a way.
How does your spouse help you in difficulty? Do you freely speak the Truth in love to each other, or do you simply complain? May we all be quick to hear and slow to speak. And when we do speak – may our words be full of the Truth, which alone can set us free.