The Romantic Vineyard is dedicated to helping marriages grow for God’s glory. Year after year life changes, yet our vows remain. Regardless of economies or changing seasons we are one flesh for better or for worse. We are committed to embrace whatever life sends our way because we know the God who controls the winds of change. He is in control, and He has promised to help us face whatever circumstances we encounter.
Parenting is one of the most demanding seasons a couple will face in their marriage. It comes during the time of life when careers are being established and/or education is being completed. Multitasking is a necessary skill to accomplish it all and do it well.
Our son and daughter-in-love are away celebrating their 5th anniversary. We have their two adorable daughters, Bristol (4) and Willow (2), who have not spent many days away from their faithful parents. But they love Nana and Papa. 🙂 However, we experienced a bit of a meltdown at bedtime tonight.
Bristol said, “But I just love my Mommy, and she is so far away!”
My response to her was this, “Bristol, your Mommy and Daddy love you so much, but they need to have some time alone because they love each other too. You know Papa and Nana love spending time with you, so this is why you are here until they return. There is no need to be sad, but happy. Your Mommy and Daddy are having time together to enjoy loving each other.”
I kissed her forehead and told her we would have a fun day tomorrow. I didn’t hear any more crying as I closed her door for she was at peace. What confidence for a young child to know her parents love each other and want to spend time together.
Many parents feel guilty for taking time away to be husband and wife because of these kinds of questions. Yet it is better by far for them to do so. We just need to know how to redirect the insecurities of a 4 year old. What looks like a scary thing is actually a very healthy thing.
How much of life is full of these kinds of scenarios. We have vaccinations to prevent a really bad illness. These are given by a shot which hurts. In the same way what looks like a painful thing for Bristol is really very good. As her parents rekindle their love for each other by spending time away without the demands of parenting, they are renewed in their conviction to continue doing the work God has given them to do. We all need a break from time to time. And parents of small children do – especially!
So, if you have small children and haven’t had any time away, we highly encourage you to find a way to make it happen, for your marriage’s sake and for the health of your family. It isn’t selfish to want to keep the home fires burning. No, this is God’s will for your marriage which is your first priority!
When was the last time you had alone time without the kids?
Sigh. Need to do this soon.
Spot on! Too many couples lose their spark in the name of parenting. I pray blessings upon your kids and grandkids and thank you for sharing these thoughts.
Thank you, Rich!