Having recently spent a week in the desert of Arizona, it is no wonder this verse jumped off the page to me as I read this chapter.
I can not imagine why anyone would choose to live in a desert, yet thousands of people find it not only tolerable, but enjoyable. They have acclimated themselves to the arid, dusty climate, and actually choose to live there.
It makes me wonder how many wives have grown comfortable with arguing with their husbands. To argue doesn’t necessarily mean a constant state of yelling and bickering aloud. Arguments can dwell quietly in our hearts manifesting themselves only in our thoughts and attitudes towards our husband.
In our post yesterday, Lisa Graf offered a the perfect description of this silent argument:
Huffs, puffs, eye rolls, or hands on the hips, toe slapping the ground.
These thoughts often begin with fretful thoughts which lead us to disagreements, which are sometime only played out in our mind. Our husband may not be aware of our issues, only our anger and disapproval.
Ladies, if we’re allowing ourselves to think of our husbands in this way – it is wrong. We must repent of our arrogance and contentious thoughts. God has joined us with our husband to come alongside and support him, love him, respect him and honor him. Does this mean he is perfect and worthy of such a mindset? No, neither are we for that matter, but this command doesn’t come with conditions. It is God we trust to help us do this, and it is God we trust to lead, convict and draw our husband to change in areas where we may see them lacking.
Consider how Christ has helped us in our lack. He completely provided for us what we couldn’t do for ourselves. He willingly laid down His life for us because He loved us. What if we were to trust God to help us love our husband in this same way. Not embracing his sin, but submitting our concerns to the only One who is able to change his heart. The Bible states our anger will never produce the righteous life that God requires. (James 1:20)
So let’s agree to take our concerns to God in prayer on behalf of our husband for his good and growth in godliness. Treat him as if God has already changed him, and see if your marriage doesn’t become more like a tropical oasis than a dry, desert land.
In what ways have you embraced silent anger towards your husband? Do you believe God can change him or do you feel responsible?
This is post #13 in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in October.
Good encouragement here today. Because in the past I had held silent anger (really as a form of punishing Bob), now if I’m upset about something that doesn’t involve Bob and I’m trying to compose myself before talking to him, I have learned to let him know so that he doesn’t have to wonder if that old habit is manifesting itself. I think that serves him well.
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This post brought me to tears,I habour so much anger in my heart against my husband…thanks so much,I’m done with being angry.
What an honest, humble response to God’s conviction in your heart. Know that this is the first step in a changed heart – humble repentance. We pray the days and weeks ahead will prove God’s ability to work miracles in your marriage.
Tom and Debi