It’s no secret that Debi and my favorite author is Paul David Tripp. We read everything he publishes and even follow him on FaceBook and Twitter. A few days ago I came across an excellent questionnaire to use as a tool in evaluating the level of trust in your marriage relationship.
I pray that taking time to do this will help you see areas of strength and/or weakness in your marriage enabling you to go after them before it’s a huge problem.
Are you building relationships of trust? Take time to look at yourself, your marriage and other relationships in the mirror of these questions.
A TRUST QUESTIONNAIRE
1) Is there more unity, understanding, and love in your marriage now than there has ever been?
2) Do you both do what you promise in the time that you have promised?
3) Are you attentive to what your spouse sees as important?
4) Do you make excuses for failures to do what you’ve promised, or are you ready to confess?
5) Do you listen well to your spouse and act on what you’ve heard?
6) Do you follow through with mutually agreed-upon plans?
7) Do you work together on planning and scheduling priorities, or do you demand that the other do it your way?
8) Do you share with your spouse your thoughts, desires, hopes, dreams, and concerns, or is it easier for you to be quiet or to share with someone else?
9) Is there any evidence that you’ve withdrawn from the other in protective distance?
10) Would your spouse say that you’re good for your word and faithful to your promises?
11) Do you carry wrongs around with you, or do you trust one another to confront and confess?
12) Do you ever wonder what the other is doing when not with you?
13) Are you conscious of editing your words and withholding your feelings because you can’t trust your spouse to deal with them properly?
14) Is your marriage partner the best friend in your life or has your dream of this kind of companionship evaporated?
15) Is your sexual relationship mutually satisfying, or is it hard for you to give yourself physically to your spouse?
16) Do you say things to other people about your spouse that you’ve not communicated to him or her?
17) Do you look forward to sharing times together, and when you have these times are they peaceful and enjoyable?
18) Are there problems between you that remain unsolved because you don’t have the bond of trust necessary to work together on a solution?
19) Are you comfortable with the vulnerability that a good marriage involves?
20) Do you ever wonder if you made a mistake in marrying the person who is your spouse?
21) Do you ever fear that you’re being manipulated or taken advantage of in any way?
22) Do you ever wonder if your spouse cares for him- or herself more than for you?
So, look over your answers. What do you think? Is trust solid in your marriage? Is it growing in your other relationships? As you commit yourself to build a sturdy bond of trust, remember you don’t do that work alone or in your own strength. The One, who defines what trust is and does, is with you and offers you every grace you need to build relationships that picture his grace and point to his glory.
This is post #20 in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in October.
Great topic. Trust is a two way street, and so many times we don’t realize that we determine how our spouse reacts to us. Just found your blog and I’d love to share mine!
Hi Mel! It’s true what an important aspect of marriage trust plays. Thank you for taking the time to comment and we will definitely visit your blog. Thanks for sharing the link!
I’ve got to hit bookmark and come back later, I’ll never get any work done. I really can’t wait to read more of your posts!
Great post. thanks for taking the time to write out this questions. love Paul tripp, and needed this.
You’re welcome! We all need this! 🙂
Great test, Tom. You don’t have to study and it will only serve to make your marriage better.
Nice to meet you….
Congratulation on being featured on Bloggers.
Thank you, Jean! It was a surprise for us too. Nice to meet you – thanks for stopping by. We hope you’ll visit often.
Tom, what an excellent list of “trust” questions! Definitely going to add these to the “trust” lesson in my small group workbook.
Great topic. Trust is really the basis of a good marriage, at times even more important than love. In fact, without trust, love will fade away.
You are so right. Trust is one of the main foundations needed for a marriage to grow.