Intimate Distance


The title is an oxymoron we are living right now.

I am in Atlanta and haven’t seen Tom for week. I won’t see him until late Friday night, and to say I miss him is a huge understatement. In 33 years we haven’t been apart for more than a week. This is a stretch for both of us, but one worth it because of the love we share for our daughter and her precious, growing family.

I haven’t had much time to think about “us” because my days are full, very full of cooking, laughing, playing with toddlers and cleaning. I’ve been baking and chauffeuring and even playing with the sweet dog. We’ve bird watched and made a few runs to Starbucks for a quick afternoon treat for Tracy and me. I have been busy and by days end, I’m even more tired, only to wake up and start all over again.

Tom on the other hand, has made himself stay busy in a very quiet house. He called yesterday saying he’s tired of the rain. Tropical Storm Debby (ironic, isn’t it?) has parked over Florida in my absence, keeping Tom from doing anything outside. No golf, no working on the yard or house, nada. In an effort to have something to do and as a blessing to me, he spent 3 hours of his weekend catching up on my ironing because he loves me. <happy sigh>

Ah, I love this man.

He romances me in ways that continually take my breath away. Our relationship began from a distance, so we know how to connect heart to heart with the words we speak. He calls me just to hear my voice, which makes me smile.

Three more days and he’ll get to hold Stella Grace for the first time. And once more I’ll get to marvel at how God has blessed me with such a man who knows how to love me, even from a distance.

How do you show your love to your spouse when distance separates you?


About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 40 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
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11 Responses to Intimate Distance

  1. Anonymous says:

    Your relationship with your husband, children, and faith in God makes me feel so good inside when I read your blog each day. It’s weird how I found you two years ago when searching for a way to lessen the sting of infidelity and fix the mess we had made of our marriage. Weird because you mainly write about happiness when I was in the midst of great despair and because I was born and raised in Orlando and

    now I live on Atlanta. Anyhoo, although we
    aestill having issues on out marriage


    • Anonymous says:

      I find comfort from reading your posts


    • Debi Walter says:

      We’re so glad you’ve found our posts helpful and not discouraging. It’s not that our marriage is perfect and always happy. It’s just this is what we choose to do – look for the good in the midst of challenging times. God is the source of our strength, not our circumstances.
      You are demonstrating a mature heart by being willing to read about the joy others have while facing one of the most difficult trials a marriage can face.
      Thank you for your comment and your encouragement.
      Curious. What part of Orlando did you live?


      • Anonymous says:

        Born at Orlando Regional in July 1969. Raised in Richmond Estates, close to Universal Studios; attended Oak Ridge High. Got married at Cypress Grove and our first home was in Pine Hills, off Balboa Avenue.


  2. Last year, while I got a new job and home established, Tiffani and I were required to live 100 miles apart every week for 6 months, with me driving home on weekends to see her and our kiddos. I stayed with a dear married couple from church in their spare room. It was very hard on everyone, but we spent many nights talking together by phone, and I got to read the Bible and Bible stories to our kids for much of that time – thanks to the modern miracle of “the webcam”! Yes, laptop to laptop, we were able to communicate… and sometimes even when we weren’t really sitting face to face, we turned them on so that she could knit and I could read or work on my Sunday setlist (I’m the worship leader at our fellowship), and we could just “be” in each other’s presence – albeit virtually. It was very comforting to have her close, even if it was just her image on the screen.

    When it’s all you have, technology is a wonderful thing! But when you have the REAL person nearby, LOSE THE TECHNOLOGY and get personal!! 😉



    • Debi Walter says:

      That’s quite a story, Jason. I can’t imagine being apart for such a long season, but it’s encouraging to see how God helped you both through it. Thanks for sharing.


  3. What a great topic. My husband and I have traveled – often in separate directions – for work in much of our married life. Or one was at home while the other was with a client far away. One essential rule was daily voice contact – with the caveat that we not dwell on how horrible the distance was, how miserable we were without each other, how long the trip seemed. In other words, no agonizing about being away from home. That was a tremendous help because you start that kind of talk thinking you’ll make the other person understand how much he or she is missed, but it becomes so negative so fast. If you’re on the road, make the most of the trip, give interesting/humoress accounts of the day and no whining.


    • Debi Walter says:

      Thank you for adding you excellent advice. I hadn’t thought about how sharing with your spouse how much you miss them over and over again can turn quickly into a negative, but you are so right. Thank you for helping me see this! My husband will thank you the next time he has to travel with his work too. 🙂


  4. Danielle says:

    I thought of you when I heard about tropical storm “Debby”! I hope everyone is okay in Florida! My husband is an airline pilot and in our (short) married life we’ve been a part quite a bit! It’s been really challenging, but an opportunity for growth of course! One thing we’ve taken note of that I haven’t forgotten is something Dr. Gary Chapman said at one of his marriage conferences. “Before you leave for a trip, make sure your spouses love tank is full, so that while they are gone, they are confident in your love for them.” While I haven’t always done this (Some goodbyes are filled with tears rather than words of affirmation for my husband) I am aware of it and think it’s a great idea. So glad you are enjoying time with your family in Atlanta 🙂


  5. Lucia says:

    Since my husband is in the military we have to be apart a lot – 3 year long deployments. When he is deployed we keep the romance going with gifts to each other, love letters by snail mail, we e-mail everyday if we can, chatting online and seeing each other on webcam if possible for my husband and he calls me as much as he can! It’s been hard being apart every other year for the past 7 years but we’ve done great! He is my heart’s desire! 🙂


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