We recently discovered a question posed by the Do Not Disturb blog. They asked us to post about what WE DO on a consistent basis to keep our marriage strong. Their goal is to get married couples all over the internet sharing what has helped their marriage grow stronger as the years pass. Much of what we are is a direct result of what we do. We think this is an excellent goal, so we’re joining the conversation:
♥ We do Honest
– even when it hurts. There is no one we trust more than each other. We know we’re going to say it like it is whenever any question is asked. Even the ones that require us to confess sin. Which leads us to the next one…
♥ We do Forgiveness
– after all if you’re going to be honest, forgiveness is the next step. Otherwise bitterness follows. Forgiveness when we’ve been hurt. Forgiveness when we don’t fully understand. Forgiveness because Christ has forgiven us so much more than any wrong we could ever suffer from each other.
♥ We do Biblical Fellowship
– which is using the Bible as our constant “go-to” manual. Our convictions are formed here and our behavior is measured here. Asking questions like, “How is God helping you resist the temptation to compare yourself with others?” or, “In what ways are you purposing to mortify this sin pattern in your life?” help us to make sure we’re not just talking the talk, but we’re walking the walk.
♥ We do Church Life
– we absolutely love our local church. We were part of the group that started it back in 1985. We have had trouble and hardship, but what church family doesn’t? We are here because this is where God told us to set down roots, and we have, and they go deep. We have life-long friends we’ve made here who know us well. They help us stay accountable, which all Christians and marriages need in order to stay strong and healthy.
♥ We do Romance
– 🙂 Yes, we do. And it keeps the twinkle in our eyes and the fun in our marriage. You see much of it lived out through our blog. But the part you don’t see, well…it’s even better! ’nuff said. 😉
♥ We do Family
– when our two oldest got married 7 and 8 years ago we made sure they knew they were our first priority when it came to helping marriages grow and stay strong. We have modeled a strong marriage for them, even through our weaknesses. When we sin we repent and ask forgiveness. We aren’t perfect. We haven’t arrived. But God has helped us and grown us little by little each year, until now we can look back and say, Wow! The Lord has done great things for us and we are glad! Nothing thrills us more than to hear our daughter-in-love say how our son reminds her so much of Tom. He caught how to be a kind, loving and thoughtful husband through Tom’s example.
♥ We do Devotions
– We didn’t always have consistent quiet times. But as the years have passed our daily time alone with the Lord has become our favorite part of the day. We read the same plan each year so we can talk about what we’re hearing from God.
♥ We do Love
– not the cupid kind of love, but the sacrificial kind that can hurt at times. It’s loving the other even when they don’t really deserve it. It’s saying I’m here for you, and I will always love you, even if I don’t like what you’re doing right now. It’s patient, kind, and doesn’t keep records of wrongs suffered. I must say my husband excels more than me in loving this way. And because he has loved me when I least deserve it, I have a front row seat of how Christ loves me. It’s amazing.
What about you? What do you do to keep your marriage strong?
We do support. We try to be each other’s biggest fan and believe in each other’s dreams.
Support is a very important thing to do well in marriage. Those who have it can see their dreams fulfilled as a direct result of the encouragement they receive at home. Great comment!
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Thank you for writing this! Gives me hope that marriage really can last, and practical ways and steps toward making mine the best it can be!
We’re thrilled that our list has given you hope for a lasting marriage. It really is about the daily choices we make to do something worthwhile. So many times what we choose to do is the easy, thoughtless things. Repeated day after day, year after year, weakens a marriage more than anything else. Our choices matter. Thanks for encouraging us today!
Excellent list, Debi! We shared ours on the blog last night too.
Great! The more the better. We miss hearing from you. Hope all is well! We’ll head over and read your “we do” list too. Thanks!
“We do sleepovers” 🙂 Thanks for linking up with HWC.
Ah yes! We love sleepovers for two! Thanks for the smile!!
What a great list. Local church is a big part of our married life. We were and still are part of a church plant 8 years ago and being involved in that ministry has changed us as individuals and shaped our marriage and family. We both truly believe that the local church is essential. Thanks for joining your voice!
Thank YOU for starting this excellent thread of posts. It’s proven to be a needed resource. Have a Happy Resurrection Day with your family tomorrow!
These are all great suggestions for keeping a marriage strong. We, too, do all the above, and it has kept us happily married for over 30 years. Another thing is to go to conferences that support and encourage us both individually and together. The Weekend to Remember is excellent for that, plus it allows time and sets expectations for honest conversations.
You are right – we need the reminders that conferences on marriage provides. We all tend to drift if we’re not being intentional to grow our marriage on a consistent basis. So glad you added this to the list!
And thanks for your encouragement. We have the best community to support strong, godly and romantic marriages.
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So glad y’all are ok, been missing the posts ! Praying for y’all and your family….
Thank you Michelle. It has been quite the season that’s an understatement. We are glad to be home and back into somewhat of a normal routine. Your prayers have made all the difference, so thank you!