We recently discovered a question posed by the Do Not Disturb blog. They asked us to post about what WE DO on a consistent basis to keep our marriage strong. Their goal is to get married couples all over the internet sharing what has helped their marriage grow stronger as the years pass. Much of what we are is a direct result of what we do. We think this is an excellent goal, so we’re joining the conversation:
♥ We do Honest
– even when it hurts. There is no one we trust more than each other. We know we’re going to say it like it is whenever any question is asked. Even the ones that require us to confess sin. Which leads us to the next one…
♥ We do Forgiveness
– after all if you’re going to be honest, forgiveness is the next step. Otherwise bitterness follows. Forgiveness when we’ve been hurt. Forgiveness when we don’t fully understand. Forgiveness because Christ has forgiven us so much more than any wrong we could ever suffer from each other.
♥ We do Biblical Fellowship
– which is using the Bible as our constant “go-to” manual. Our convictions are formed here and our behavior is measured here. Asking questions like, “How is God helping you resist the temptation to compare yourself with others?” or, “In what ways are you purposing to mortify this sin pattern in your life?” help us to make sure we’re not just talking the talk, but we’re walking the walk.
♥ We do Church Life
– we absolutely love our local church. We were part of the group that started it back in 1985. We have had trouble and hardship, but what church family doesn’t? We are here because this is where God told us to set down roots, and we have, and they go deep. We have life-long friends we’ve made here who know us well. They help us stay accountable, which all Christians and marriages need in order to stay strong and healthy.
♥ We do Romance
– 🙂 Yes, we do. And it keeps the twinkle in our eyes and the fun in our marriage. You see much of it lived out through our blog. But the part you don’t see, well…it’s even better! ’nuff said. 😉
♥ We do Family
– when our two oldest got married 7 and 8 years ago we made sure they knew they were our first priority when it came to helping marriages grow and stay strong. We have modeled a strong marriage for them, even through our weaknesses. When we sin we repent and ask forgiveness. We aren’t perfect. We haven’t arrived. But God has helped us and grown us little by little each year, until now we can look back and say, Wow! The Lord has done great things for us and we are glad! Nothing thrills us more than to hear our daughter-in-love say how our son reminds her so much of Tom. He caught how to be a kind, loving and thoughtful husband through Tom’s example.
♥ We do Devotions
– We didn’t always have consistent quiet times. But as the years have passed our daily time alone with the Lord has become our favorite part of the day. We read the same plan each year so we can talk about what we’re hearing from God.
♥ We do Love
– not the cupid kind of love, but the sacrificial kind that can hurt at times. It’s loving the other even when they don’t really deserve it. It’s saying I’m here for you, and I will always love you, even if I don’t like what you’re doing right now. It’s patient, kind, and doesn’t keep records of wrongs suffered. I must say my husband excels more than me in loving this way. And because he has loved me when I least deserve it, I have a front row seat of how Christ loves me. It’s amazing.
What about you? What do you do to keep your marriage strong?