To diss someone is to: —v.t. 1. to show disrespect for; affront. 2. to disparage; belittle.
As you can see to dis your spouse is not the way God intends for husbands and wives to relate. We are to show high regard and honor for each other. Christ even goes so far as to tell the husband to love his wife as he loves himself! It is a high calling and one that takes the indwelling work of the Holy Spirit to accomplish.
Believe it or not, there are many varieties of disses in marriage. This is why we think they could be alive and well in many marriages and neither the husband or wife are aware of it. We want to share with you some common disses:
DIS-RESPECT – To disrespect someone is to have contempt for them and to treat rudely. However, many times disrespect isn’t so obvious to those who are being disrespected. For example, a wife could ask her husband to do something for the umpteenth time. When he hears the same old request he turns his head and rolls his eyes. This is disrespect on full display. The wife too will roll her eyes when her husband offers a suggestion on how to do something in a different way. This dis should have no place in marriage. However, we are both sinners in need of a Savior. We will disrespect one another. The thing is, we must be quick to confess our sin, not cover it up and hope they didn’t notice. Only you know when there is disrespect in your heart toward your spouse. Don’t delay. Go to your spouse and talk about it. If that sounds impossible, then ask for a godly friend or pastor to meet with you.
DIS-REGARD – To disregard is to pay no attention to or to leave out of consideration. This happens when one spouse makes big decisions without consulting the other. It could be with financial matters, career decisions, hobbies, etc. Our spouse should be included on all decisions regarding the family. There should be nothing hidden from the other. We even encourage husbands and wives to connect throughout the day as much as possible. A quick phone call gives you both insight into the pressures the other is facing. This one thing does more to divert this “dis” from taking place than anything else. Talk deeply, talk often and watch how it helps you regard more highly each other’s opinions.
DIS-MEMBER – Ok, this one may sound gruesome, but we’re not talking a physical dismemberment here. What we’re talking about is the habit of cutting your spouse off when they’re talking, or cutting your spouse down in front of others. Do you interrupt your spouse when they’re telling a story to friends? Do you correct them for every little thing? Do you have unresolved conflicts? Do you bring attention to them while in public in a condescending way? Are you quick to point out your spouse’s failures, and all the while you’re failing to admit your own? Then, you are dismembering your marriage. Tom has often counseled couples saying our cutting words are like tiny arrows that pierce our marriage. One cutting word alone won’t do much damage, but over a long period of time these sharp words can kill a marriage. It’s best to be aware of this temptation, and confess it quickly when you find yourself doing it.
DIS-ENGAGE – I learned how to drive a stick-shift VW bug when I was 16. It was my first car, and I loved it. However, I found it challenging to learn how to smoothly disengage from one gear to the other while pushing in the clutch. It took lots of practice to do it well. But I was determined. This metaphor fits well with this “dis.” We disengage when we no longer listen intently to our spouse. We assume we know what they’re going to say and don’t bother pushing in the clutch to hear them out. Every conversation becomes a grinding noise, instead of smooth communication. Good listening skills take practice, and if we’re committed to our marriage, we’ll take the time needed to help us do this well.
DIS-HEARTEN – This one is heartbreaking, literally. It means to take the courage out of someone, to dispirit them. How does a couple go from their wedding day when they vow their life and love to their spouse, to someone who is responsible for disheartening them? It’s not surprising for those couples who are trying to live out their vows in their own strength. It is nearly impossible. I say nearly because there are some marriages that seem to fly above such temptations, but they are the exception and not the rule. Marriage is hard. It requires recommitting yourself to your vows each and every day. And for those who succeed you will most likely hear of their dependence on the God who created marriage in the first place.
After reading this list, have you discovered you’re dissing your marriage and didn’t even know it? If so, what do you do? Simply acknowledge your sin. Repent to your spouse and God. Commit to resist dissing, and watch God restore what the locusts have tried to destroy.
Are there other disses you can think of? How have they affected your marriage?
Read more: dis: meaning and definitions | Infoplease.com http://dictionary.infoplease.com/dis#ixzz2YTiagkPU