What You Really Need In Marriage


You may have noticed our absence lately, and it’s for good reason; Our daughter is expecting her 4th baby any day now, AND our son is moving next week with his family to Nashville where he’ll begin a new job working with Dave Ramsey–we are so excited for him, while saddened to see him move so far away. But it’s still within a day’s drive, so we are grateful. So many changes happening all at once, but God is helping us stay focused on what is needed. 

But our thoughts are often towards you, wanting to encourage you in your marriage. This is why we are sharing with you the following article by Mark Altrogge titled, What You Really Need In Marriage. We think you’ll benefit greatly from this excellent post. 

Until life settles down again, we’ll continue to pray for God to help you and your marriage grow stronger for His glory.





by Mark Altrogge

Our culture is extremely self-oriented. We are continually bombarded by messages that tell us we need greater self-esteem. We begin to think, I need to do this for me, I need to be validated, I need to feel good about myself, I need to think about my desires for a change, etc.

It’s so easy to bring this mentality into marriage. We can think we “need” certain things from our spouse. But in reality, we often take our desires, which may not be wrong in themselves, and elevate them to the level of “need.” “I want” becomes “I won’t be happy unless I get…”

Of course, there’s a place for talking to your spouse about your desires. There are things husbands and wives should do for one another. They should serve one another. They should seek to bless each other. Each should bear their share of the load of caring for the children and household chores.

But be careful with desires. But what if your spouse fails to meet your desires?

I would first ask this: how much do believers in Jesus really “need” from their wives or husbands? I would submit that you DON’T “need” your spouse:

To satisfy you
To serve you
To make you feel good about yourself
To meet all your expectations
To fulfill you

It’s wonderful if you have a wife or husband who cares for you, serves you and blesses you. But remember, ultimately no human being can meet all of another human being’s needs. No human being can satisfy another human. It’s just not going to happen. Only God can meet all our needs and truly satisfy us.

We take vows to love our spouse for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad. What will you do if your spouse gets hurt or sick and is completely unable to do anything for you? What if you have to care for him or her for years? You will have to look to the Lord for contentment, satisfaction and joy.

So what do you really need?

You need… (click here to continue reading.)

About Debi Walter

Tom and Debi have been sharing encouragements through their blogs for many years. Marriage, Reading God's Word and documenting family history is our focus. Growing in our relationship with the Lord is primary in all we say, write or do. We are grateful for all who desire to join us in the same endeavors.
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2 Responses to What You Really Need In Marriage

  1. This is so true. I love this post. I just posted about my illusions going into marriage and how I wished someone would have “warned” me. I would love for you to check out my blog and that most recent post. Thanks for this post!


  2. TrueAgape says:

    Congratulations on another grandbaby! And that is awesome that your son is getting to work with Dave! I am currently on the book launch team for Dave and Rachel’s newest book Smart Money Smart Kids. I can only imagine working with Dave will be such a blessing. So many changes going on right now with your family! Hope all is going well!


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