I’ve been doing something consistently that I had all but given up ever doing again. I started exercising. For those of you who have always been physically active you can’t possibly understand what I’m talking about. It is a way of life for you. However, for all the others who have set exercising aside for all sorts of reasons, I’m sure you understand.
Without going into all the details, I have had pain and injuries that has prevented me from doing any physical activity without lots more pain. So I wouldn’t do it. I assumed about three years ago that my life would never be what it once was.
I was wrong.
You see I had bought into the lie that if it hurts I shouldn’t do it.
But one day I had an aha! moment. I realized that all athletes have pain, but what’s different about them is they push through it. I gave birth to three children–it hurt like crazy, but by God’s grace I pushed through it. What if I had given up saying it was too painful? I shudder to think of it!
So why was I so quick to throw off exercising? Was it only because it hurt? No, the honest answer was even more painful–I didn’t really want to do it. I hid behind my excuses thinking it was my lot in life. And I stayed there for three years!
Fast forward to April. I was given a challenge to try exercising daily for three weeks! I was tired of feeling tired all the time. My metabolism had all but shut down. I wondered if I could jump start my lazy body once again, and to my surprise I did! It hurt, but I discovered that doing this to my body each day increased my strength little by little. I saw progress, and it motivated me to keep going.
Why am I telling you this? Because I believe we can do the same thing when it comes to romance in marriage.
We get into ruts and stay there because at one time it was comfortable. There comes a time however, when the rut grows deeper, and you can’t see anything in front of you or behind you. There is no vision and the Bible says without a vision we perish.
Romance is the metabolism of the marriage relationship.
You have to keep it going to nourish the lifeblood of your relationship. What you call romantic and what I call romantic may be two completely different things, but that shouldn’t deter us from stretching our romantic muscles on a daily basis.
The program I’ve been doing physically is called The 21 Day Fix. What if we were to give our marriage 21 Days of Romance? Would we see much needed changes for the lasting good of our relationship? I believe we would.
Below is a list of ideas on how to practice daily romance. I challenge you to pick one each day for the next 21 days. Don’t tell your spouse you’re doing it, let them notice on their own. I believe if you haven’t been stretching your romantic muscles lately, you’ll feel awkward, maybe even painfully uncomfortable, but do it. For 21 days express your love in this way and see what kind of effect it has on your relationship.
Are you willing to give it a try? If so, comment and let me know so I can be praying for your success. In this day and age we need marriages that endure for a lifetime. The next generation is watching and learning much from our good (or bad) examples.
My coach sends me encouraging memes everyday. Here’s one to keep close at hand to keep you motivated.
Daily Romantic Exercises
- Make your spouse’s coffee and take it to them in bed or while they’re getting ready in the bathroom.
- Write a heart-felt letter to your spouse and mail it to them as if you were living miles apart.
- Take on a practical act of service such as cleaning their closet, detailing their car, to bless them in an unexpected way.
- Hire a job done around the house that they have been dreading.
- Make them their favorite meal for no special reason, and call them during the day to tell them you have a surprise for them when they get home.
- Plan an outing for them with their friends and make all the arrangements. Send them off with your blessings.
- Before you go to bed tell them you’re giving them the next morning off and they’re allowed to sleep in.
- Draw them a bath complete with candlelight, soft music and wine.
- Go for a ride in the country or on the beach. Stop whenever you see something interesting to explore.
- Read a book aloud to each other.
- Plan a movie marathon one afternoon.
- Go for a walk in the rain.
- Set up a tent in your bedroom and go camping. 😉
- Do something adventurous together–horseback riding, zip-lining, hiking
- Use our iPhone app, or check out our Date Night questions and pick several to talk over coffee one night.
- Ask your spouse what they would love to do in the bedroom sexually, and do whatever you can to make it happen.
- Find ways to compliment your spouse physically, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. Choose to do one each day of the challenge.
- Every time you think of your spouse during the day, send them a quick text telling them so.
- Brush your spouse’s hair, rub their shoulder, massage their feet, whatever non-sexual physical touch your spouse enjoys do it often throughout the challenge.
- Purpose to put your spouse’s needs and requests at the top of your to-do list.
- Be intentional in pursuing them like you did when you were dating.
- Don’t assume you know all their is to know about your spouse. Ask them good questions to understand them on a deeper level.
- Have fun together and find ways to laugh out loud!
What would you add to the list? Share them so we can encourage each other in our quest to stretch our romantic muscles.
Wonderful! When do you plan to start?
I use to do most of those things then having a kid and owning our own business and being worship leaders happened…. I want it back! Thanks for the prayers! I’m starting today!!!
April – Excellent!! I pray that in 3 weeks you’ll see a huge difference in your marriage. Report back so we can praise God with you!
Yes, upping your romance game is really important. I completely agree.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, Keelie. Marriage is a privilege and a responsibility. When we get it on track–it’s a blast too!