Today is the final post in my Mother’s Day Gift series. Meet Heather, our youngest and the one who recently got married to the love of her life, Matt Aznaran. She may be small in stature, but not in strength as you will hear. They will celebrate their “5th month” anniversary on June 6th. They live in Centerton, Arkansas.
I sat there blank, trying to find the words. How can someone who has made a skill of talking be so speechless? I mean, I was a hairstylist for over 8 years, if anyone knows how to talk it’s a hairstylist. We come up with something to talk about out of nothing for hours every day, but I was stumped.
Days went by, because one thing I do not like doing is making statements about which I don’t know much. You may be wondering what in the world am I talking about? I am talking about the day my Mom asked me to write an article on marriage for her Mother’s Day gift this year.
I have only been married for four months. Who am I to talk about marriage? I’m a newlywed. Then, it happened early one morning–I was startled awake. The words started to flow and I knew what I would write. I pulled out my tablet, and began…
Let me start off by saying I don’t expect you to read anything profound in this article. My hope is that it will remind you of when you were first married having similar eureka moments.
Getting married at 31 meant I had a lot of time to think about what marriage would be like.
I used to think I had to make myself into a slave to be a good wife. I thought being a good wife was to die to self so much you became like a robot sent to serve your husband’s every whim.
I was losing myself trying to prepare for my husband. At times, I could not even tell you my dreams or opinions because I was so focused on what I thought my future husband would want me to be that I lost sight of them. I was silencing a part of me that God created unique and lost myself in the process.
I was a self-proclaimed, weak woman, until God placed my amazing husband in my life. He would not let me stay this way. He saw through the lies I had believed for years. He saw strength in this small woman, and continued to remind me of it. I now know that dying to selfishness and serving your husband does not mean becoming a slave.
His love showed me who I am and who I could be.
The right man will:
- bring out your strengths
- help you become a better person
- help you know your identity
- encourage you to have an opinion.
- help you feel safe to be vulnerable
- help you be one-hundred percent yourself.
The love and support I have in Matt is the most surprising thing I have discovered about marriage. Some describe marriage as being “locked down,” but I feel free!
Like I said before, I am a noob. I have a lot to learn about marriage. But now I see marriage isn’t only about discovering your spouse, it’s also about discovering yourself. I am blessed I found a man who is incredibly strong; who wants me to be strong too. I stand up for myself more than ever before. It is confirmation my husband a gift from God to me.
Marriage is about sanctification (becoming more like Christ). And being with the right man encourages you to change for the right reasons. I know our journey will not always be easy, but the strength and courage I have now is something that will help us both. God sent me an angel to show me the strength which I have had all along. I can no longer be silent because I have so much God wants me to say, give and become.
I am free to have a voice.
I am free to handle the hardships that come my way.
Thanks to God and my husband, I am free and stronger than ever!
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. This gift you asked me to give has helped me so much. I am proud to be your daughter. Thank you for being an example of a strong woman. I love you!
Forever your daughter, Heather Aznaran