We have been watching the weather forecast for Northwestern North Carolina. They are predicting a huge winter storm to hit the area this weekend. We have friends who are taking their family to our cabin for a week, and they won’t be lacking in the snow department. Since they’re going to ski this is the best of news. The problem is getting there before the storm hits.
Weather forecasts help us know how to prepare. Thanks to the science of meteorology we can anticipate and prepare for the road ahead.
This is an important aspect of growing a healthy marriage. Some live each day without regard for what’s coming. They don’t think about a storm until it hits. Then the damage and necessary clean-up is massive.
But even strong marriages, like weather forecasters, can’t be accurate in discerning what’s coming. What do we do when the storm hits?
This is the phrase The Weather Channel uses incessantly when a hurricane is approaching FL. I have heard it so many times that it has become a mockery in our family. “I hear thunder…better hunker down!” To hunker down is to take your position and squat. In other words, you are in this for the long haul and you need to prepare yourself.
Our marriages face many storms through the years. Some are self-inflicted and some are born through circumstances we face. A snow storm can be beautiful. We even call it a Winter Wonderland. Last week Tom and I enjoyed it for a few days, but we were happy to get in our car and drive home to The Sunshine State.
The reason is the wonder of the snow’s beauty quickly fades when the ice melts. It’s then when you see the damage the storm wreaked underneath all the ice. It’s a muddy mess!
Winter storms in marriage are when we pretend everything is okay, but the chill is palpable. Things look great on the outside, but underneath the damage is there waiting to be dealt with.
Summer storms in marriage are those that blow in fast and pass through just as fast. We see it, experience the damaging winds, and then get to work cleaning up the debris left behind.
Storms are necessary. God uses the wind to clean away damaged limbs in trees, and waters the ground supplying needed nutrients.
What kind of storm is your marriage facing? Is the cold winter chill making it tempting to hunker down and hide? Is your first inclination to protect yourself, rather than seek to resolve the issue for the good of your marriage?
We encourage you not to wait until the Spring to deal with the issues. Hunker down but in a healthy way. One that says, “I’m hunkered down and I’m not going anywhere until we deal with the issues at hand. Let’s talk!”
This is how healthy marriages deal with conflict–like a weather forecaster–you see, are prepared and take necessary action.
We pray your hunkering down this winter will be warm and cozy providing safe comfort from the winds that blow. It’s also a great time to talk about the things weighing on your heart concerning your relationship. Don’t wait. Your marriage is too important to ignore and no one is going to care about it or your spouse more than you.
Great analogy, Debi!
Storms can come by our choosing…and we can drive them away with the right attitude.
As an example, my wife is a bit of an Eeyore about my terminal cancer. It isn’t her fault; her parents were like that about life. She’ll ‘predict’ what will be happening to me down the road, the bad things, and while she’s usually right, it used to irritate the heck out of me.
But the point is that I let it steal my joy; I gave her personality quirk, which is her way of coping, have control over my outlook.
It could have been a storm, but I just let those clouds blow away now. She is able to air her anxieties, and I keep my insufferable optimism.
I mean, cancer, schmancer, as long as you’re healthy, right!
As always it makes me smile to see a comment from you, Andrew. It lets me know you’re still here. And I know I’m going to hear your perspective on what I’ve written. Thank you for continuing to help me keep eternity in view. That’s the point of all we do right?
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Yes indeed, ebi. We’re only here for a little while, but eternity is like, forever, yeah?
Good thing to be spending it with God.
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