“If we have a misunderstanding of God we will most certainly have a wrong understanding of our circumstances.” – Lysa Terkeurst
Marriage is hard. It takes a life-long commitment to pursue each other regardless of the circumstances we face. We tend to romance our marriage vows because they sound so poetic. But think about it — I am promising to make my spouse my priority in the worse, the poorer and the sickness of life. It sounds so noble–until it’s not.
Life is messy, and marriage multiplies the trouble.
- Children add strain to our wedded bliss–either through physical health challenges, behavior struggles or refusing to sleep through the night. Maybe you and your spouse don’t agree on how to deal with these types of challenges; that makes it even harder to bear.
- Work life brings its own problems. You weren’t given the promotion for which you had worked months to achieve. Your spouse faces depression as a result and you feel helpless and alone. Or an office relationship your spouse has turns into something more, and you are left with a decision you never thought you’d have to make-to stay or to leave.
- Sickness hits your spouse requiring you to give and serve on levels you’ve never imagined. A future that once looked bright is now dotted with doctor appointments and treatments with no guarantee of the outcome.
These are just a few examples of how life as we planned it may not happen. Does that mean the marriage is doomed? Only if you succumb to the temptations to flee.
It is vital that as Christians we remember there is nothing we go through that hasn’t first passed through God’s all-knowing, all-loving hand. He takes us through difficulty to help us know Him more.
When we are disappointed and angry in our circumstances it may be we are dissing His appointments chosen just for us.
Let me repeat that. When we are disappointed and angry in our circumstances it may be we are dissing His appointments chosen just for us.
To “dis” someone is to disrespect or dismiss them altogether. I imagine many of you may be asking, how can this be? How can God be allowing such hardship in my marriage. Isn’t He supposed to be good?
We must remember what the Bible says. God’s ways are not our ways. But He IS Good. This truth must be embraced to walk through the dark valleys together. Sometimes there are no answers that satisfy our broken hearts. But God has promised to never leave us in the mess. He will faithfully walk us through it to the other side where we may find answers or maybe we won’t. But one thing is certain, we will know and love Him more if we endure.
A marriage that has stood the test of time is a beautiful thing.
It isn’t because “they just got a good one” as we have heard many times. No, it’s how they chose to stay committed even through the disappointments of life. Trusting God when you don’t know what tomorrow will bring is faith in its purest form. It’s daring to believe in the goodness and kindness of God when it feels the exact opposite.
Next time you are faced with disappointment in your marriage, pause and ask God to help you embrace His appointment chosen just for you. Ask Him to give you eyes to see and faith to trust His choice for you in this season. These are prayers that please Him and indicate your sincere faith in what you cannot see.
NOTE: If you are not a Christian, having trusted in Christ alone for your salvation, this post will most likely not make sense. We encourage you, if interested, to read your Bible and discover Jesus for yourself. Start with the Gospel of John. This December will mark my 50th year as a believer. I can say He has been faithful to keep His promises, and He is good!
This is my 6th post in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in April.