How well do you know your spouse? How you answer this question depends largely on how long you’ve been together, how well you communicate your preferences, and how intentional you are in studying your spouse.
Today’s Friday Favorites are resources to help you get to know each other on a deeper level.
1. Five Love Languages – You have most likely heard about the love languages, but have you taken the time to take the test? If not, we are providing the link for you and your spouse to finally do it. Set aside a date night to discover what speaks love most to each other. You may discover you each show love according to your own language and not the language the other prefers. We found this very helpful. (Hint: you may have more than one.) The five types are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch.
2. Enneagram 9 Personality Types – This is quite popular these days and if you haven’t heard of it, you probably will. Check out this popular Instagram account: enneagramandcoffee. The test can be quite challenging, but persevere through it and give it your first most likely answer. They aren’t the typical opposite answers, so you have to really pay attention to how the question is presented. What we love about this test is it shows how you and your spouse process life. It brought clarity to some of our common struggles in communication. Tom is a Type 1 – The Perfectionist. I am a Type 2 – The Helper. You would think these are quite compatible, except when they aren’t. Add to this the wing types where your spouse goes to when stressed or when strong. There is much to learn about this and each other.
3. Myers-Briggs Personality Test – This test showed how opposite we are except in one area. I am an ENFJ – the Giver, and Tom is an ISTJ – the Inspector. We share the common trait of Judgement. The first letter stands for Introvert or Extrovert. The second letter stands for Sensing or Intuitive. The third letter stands for Thinking or Feeling, The fourth letter stands for Perceiving or Judging.
4. Cherishing Us – This is our book that helps us find ways everyday to be intentional in our marriage. There are 365 marriage tips that serve as a vitamin for your everyday marriage health. But the part we find the most helpful in getting to know each other is the Date Night Questions section. Here you will find over 150 questions to help your conversation go in a different direction than you normally would. Missing are the typical questions about parenting, work, serving in the church or elsewhere, extended family challenges, etc. These are intended to help you talk about YOU. We hope you’ll take the challenge to learn what Cherishing Us looks like in your marriage.
5. Cherish, The One Word That Changes Everything, by Gary Thomas – This is by far our favorite book to help couples come to a deeper understanding of each other. Cherish is a rich word that has hidden behind the word, Love, in most marriage vows. As a result, we have missed a huge benefit that this word provides in creating a strong marriage. Gary also has a workbook and DVD series for those who would like to squeeze out all they can from this resource. Buy it. Read it. Thank God for it. It is that good!
Now the question is, which one will you choose? You have a lifetime to work on your marriage. Take them at your own pace and have fun with it.
This is our 19th post in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in April.