Hangry is a combination of two words–hungry and angry. Anger often has the same appetite of hunger. It craves what it doesn’t have and results in a harsh outburst. Ugly.
James 4 says,
“1What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.”
Think about the last time you and your spouse had an argument. It may not have been loud and in your face. You may have kept silent, but if given a voice it would have been evident.
Tom, in our early years of marriage, used to think by being silent he was handling his anger well. After all he was “controlling his tongue”. But if you’ve ever experienced “the silent treatment” from your spouse, the anger is still present. If left to run it’s course in silence, it will most likely turn to bitterness.
Bitterness is anger on a simmer.
My struggle with anger was unleashed on my children more than Tom. It was an immature and sinful response to the pressures of being a young mom. We were blessed with three children in four years and I lacked all kinds of godly virtues. Self-control and patience were sorely missing. I have since repented to each of my children and wish I could go back and redo those years. But sanctification doesn’t work that way.
God is faithful and was using the trials of motherhood to expose areas in my heart in need of growth. The good news is He didn’t leave me there.
What makes you hangry? Once you discover the answer to this question you can then allow God to grow in you what is lacking.
“5For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.“
It is important to say there is another kind of anger that leads to abuse. It can be mental, verbal or physical and is not acceptable by any means. If this is your situation, we encourage you get help, and also to read Gary Thomas’ post, Enough is Enough. He discusses when it is right to walk away from a toxic relationship.
Are you hangry? There is hope for you to change if you’re honest and willing.
(What do you think the second letter in our Home Stretch Challenge is? Hint: Look at the words in bold above.)
This is our 25th post in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in April.
I remember one of my friends remarking that coming to my holiday meals (when I was married) was like entering the green zone. The tension was overwhelming. Thankfully, that’s no longer part of the environment in my home. (OK, it’s just me and my kids…)
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Once again I have no idea what you are talking about with The Green Zone, so I looked it up. Part of the war in Iraq lingo. I always learn something from you even when you comment. Being your friend makes me smarter, like staying in a Holiday Inn. Haha!
I’m glad the Green Zone has been diffused in your home.
Well, based on what seems to be your second letter, the word I had in mind is not the word. I shall move on to my second idea. 🙂 I love your reminder here that we are responsible for the way we handle our anger. That’s a calling from God – to be open to looking at it, and changing it for the better, with God’s help.
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Jeanine, in case you missed this part, the letters are not coming in order. You will have to unscramble them once you get all seven.
I learned my responsibility in pursuing change the hard way. But God is faithful to not leave us where we are. So grateful for that truth.
My anger, it would never cease
in days of way back when
until I found the way to peace
in the practice of Soto Zen.
Now, Zen is not religion;
it’s more a way to live
each moment a decision
to step back, and forgive.
So many are so restless
in thinking that they require
toys and graces endless
all burned in flames of desire.
But all it takes is a still-calmed heart
like a mirror-pool, and God does His part.
Most people don’t realize that Zen is really not a faith; Buddha was a man, not a god, and to worship him would be a complete repudiation of what he taught.
Shiryu Suzuki was once asked how a Christian can practice Zen, and replied, “Be the best Chrit-follower you can be.”