In Or Out Of Control

There are some things you can control and some you can't. And sometimes what you thought you could control, you find out the hard way that you never could. Ever been there?
We all have, if we're honest.

Photo by Simon English on Unsplash

There are some things you can control and some you can’t. And sometimes what you thought you could control, you find out the hard way that you never could. Ever been there?

We all have, if we’re honest.

I grew up in Florida. I was born and raised in Orlando before the Mouse put us on the map. I didn’t see snow until I was 16 years old, so I have no idea how to drive in hazardous winter conditions.

Tom, born and raised in upstate New York, has explained to me that if your car starts skidding on ice the worst thing you can do is to brake and turn the steering wheel against the spin. He says you have to turn the wheel in the direction the car is spinning to help get you out of it. This makes no sense to me. I am grateful I have never been put in this hazardous situation. Or have I?

There are many times in my life when things didn’t play out the way I would have chosen. Everything in me resists going off my straight, well-thought out plan. I try to do all I can to stay on course. In fact, just so I’d have a fresh example, we had dinner plans tomorrow night I was looking forward to. When I called to confirm I discovered our friends had put it on the wrong date. They weren’t even in town so there was no chance to be spontaneous.

This is not hazardous by any means, but it can feel that way in the moment. Disappointment has a way of robbing us of present joy.

Over the past 10 years or so, I have had lots of course changes. I expected life to go one way, and it ended up skidding in the opposite direction. I tried to hold on to the wheel hoping I could control the outcome, and all it did was cause my disappointment to increase. Had I taken Tom’s advice and been willing to steer in the way the Lord was leading instead of resisting, I could have avoided much conflict in my heart.

The good part is I am changing. I see the skid coming and brace myself to go with it. I have learned some important lessons in the process:

  • I have seen God’s faithfulness in leading me in a different direction.
  • I have seen His protection in not giving me my way in the matter.
  • I have learned there is peace in trusting His lead in my life.
  • I have discovered the gift God has given me in my husband. He knows things about which I am clueless. I can trust his lead as well.
  • Just because something doesn’t make sense to me, doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do. Math doesn’t make sense and I’ve been told it is true and will always be true.

What areas seem to be skidding out of control in your marriage? Finances? Schedules? Sexual problems? Work dynamics? Extended family relationships? It can be any number of things or more than one. But there is hope if you are willing to do what you need to over what feels good in the moment.

Life isn’t spinning out of control as it often seems. God is in control and is wanting to teach us something we don’t realize, show us something we would have missed, or protect us from something we can’t see.

Hint: Today’s secret letter is in bold, once again. Have you managed to find all five so far?


This is our 28th post in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in April.


About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 36 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
This entry was posted in April 2019, Christian Marriage, Conflict, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, Ultimate Blog Challenge and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to In Or Out Of Control

  1. Sound wisdom here, Debi. I can attest to the changes God is bringing about in you. You know the last five years have been rough for me. I can attest to the facts of driving in hazardous weather which Tom has proclaimed. Did he mention how scary it is? It is. But it’s the right way through the situation. That’s amazing to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jeanine Byers says:

    I can definitely relate to wanting a lot more control than was right for me. And there have been times when I have been able to recognize God’s wisdom in steering me in a different direction. But you’re right – even when I have had no idea why, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right way to go. Very wise post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The night was hedged by screams
    and pain; “God, please NO!”
    What has happened to the dreams
    I held not long ago?
    Control has passed to something else,
    and can now but respond
    and every passing day tells
    ill of what’s beyond.
    But my response is discipline
    to hope, not to despair
    and keeps me in the place between
    hell and holy air.
    ‘Tis a long road to my Calvary
    but it’s the path that sets me free.

    The theme of control os a part of Guster’s charming song (and video) “Do You Love Me?”; I hope it’s OK that I share it here.

    Like

    • Martha DeMeo says:

      Being born and raised way upstate NY, I know exactly what Tom is talking about when a car is skidding on ice! That is a great way to define some things in life too. This happened to my granddaughter after her young life was full of abuse. She took control through prayer, God and Faith, she is not skidding on ice any more.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I was diagnosed with cancer 5 years ago. I chose to stay in control of my feelings and choose happiness. It helps when things that are out of your control happen.

    Liked by 1 person

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