We recently had a spontaneous date night. We picked a table where one TV was facing us. Low and behold the PGA tournament in Pebble Beach, CA was showing. We were thrilled. We opted out of paying for cable television a while ago, and one of the down-sides to it is not being able to watch some of our favorites. We thoroughly enjoyed watching the second day of golf on this beautiful course. It is located on the coast of California with cliffs and surf on the edge of many holes. Tom had an opportunity to play Pebble Beach years ago and regrets that he declined. We did visit the infamous 18th hole and enjoyed a drink while watching the golfers finish their round.

This got us thinking about how much we enjoy certain types of programs: Golf tournaments, Cooking shows and restaurant takeovers by Gordon Ramsey, Music competitions – we love The Voice and the new show Songland for aspiring song writers. These are all a great way for us to enjoy relaxing together.

We also find it interesting that we not only enjoy watching these types of shows, but we enjoy doing them–cooking is one of our favorite things to do together. We also enjoy eating out at new restaurants. We love playing golf whenever we are able and the weather cooperates. We love music and used to be involved on the worship team of our church.

Common interests are a great way to connect and have fun.

But what if you don’t have any common interests? I didn’t start loving golf until we had been married 25 years. I took lessons because I wanted to play well enough for Tom to not mind me joining him for a round. Who knew that I would love it as much as he does? I’m so glad I tried it. Now it is a fun date for us to enjoy together.

I encourage you to consider what you could do to enter each other’s world a bit. Is your spouse a NFL fanatic? Learn the rules of the game. Study the stories of their favorite players so you are able to contribute to the conversation intelligently. Then, sit back and enjoy watching a game together.

Does your spouse have a favorite author? Read one of the books so you can talk about it together. You may discover you enjoy it as much as they do.

Of course not all activities have to be shared. Tom will never get my love of writing, but he does enjoy helping me make time for it. When I’m finished he offers to read what I write. Actually that’s even better because he has become the one who’s encouragement and edits mean the most to me.

I will never understand Tom’s love of managing and crunching numbers. He serves on the Financial Committee at our church and it is my joy to see him use his wisdom and encouragement in such a practical way for the benefit of our church. I make it easy for him to go when called upon.

I must tell you we haven’t always been this easy to get along with. 😉 There were many times in our early years that I resented his absence because it made my life inconvenient. I was more focused on how his choices impacted me than focusing on helping him do something he enjoys. It’s all in our perspective.

1. What is one way you and your spouse can begin to enjoy doing a favorite activity together?
2. How can you make time for your spouse to do something they enjoy on a regular basis?

These are some good questions to consider on your next date night. Maybe your answer will be dropped right in front of you, like the golf channel was on our last date.