I hate roller coasters. They throw off your equilibrium and make you have to regain footing once you’re back on solid ground. Not to mention the unexpected twists, turns and drops along the way. I’d rather not take part, thank you very much.
This past week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. All the above applies. But unlike choosing to buy a ticket to ride or not, I found myself on this one unaware until the first drop.
We don’t have to tell you that we are passionate about seeing marriages thrive for the glory of God. And when we hear of marriages ending, it is heart wrenching for all those affected by it.
This past week alone we have received…
- We learned about a marriage of 20 years with a huge influence that is ending in divorce. While we don’t know all the reasons for the decision, we know that divorce is painful.
- We followed the updates of a dear friend who is watching his wife of 30 years lose her battle against cancer. He and their children are all by her side as they say their final goodbyes. (Update: She entered Heaven’s gate before this post was finished.)
- Tom traveled to CA to help his Dad care for his Stepmom who is suffering from complications after breaking her hip in April. This is his 3rd trip in four months.
- We attended the celebration of a dear friend who at 60 years of age has found the love of her life.
- We read a FB message from dear friends in Ukraine who’s daughter got married yesterday. It is the first of their four children to tie the knot and what a celebration!
I believe the good news sprinkled into such a heartbreaking week is God’s grace extended to us.
Tom knew of my struggle and felt bad that he was so far away. I was fighting sickness, feeling sad, and physically weak. Being alone with my thoughts can often be a temptation to fear and anxiety, so Tom wanted to help in some way. I mentioned that I really wanted a hamburger but didn’t think I could drive to get one. The next thing I knew the doorbell rang with an Uber Eats delivery from Backyard Burger for me! It made my day!
Having a spouse who knows you well and cares for you in ways no one else can is a gift. This is why we are passionate to help marriages stay the course. It’s not so much the big moments in your lives as it is the tiny mundane moments that reveal the depth of your love and commitment to each other.
Are you in a rough place in your relationship? Do all you can to work on it. Ignoring it will not make it go away. It will only fester and cause more pain. Every marriage has them. A healthy marriage uses adversity as a spring board to a better place of intimacy and understanding. Who knows? We may get to the place where the roller coaster is actually fun when we face it together.
Intimacy Prompt: Pay attention to little requests your spouse makes. Then do all you can to see it happens. Such acts of service will help cultivate a healthy marriage.
Helpful Tip: What works for us may not be what will work for your marriage. Remember just as our gifts vary in the church, so too our strengths and weaknesses vary from marriage to marriage.
“For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.”
– 1 Corinthians 12:14-18 ESV
a reminder of life
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Yes that’s for sure! We have a friend that often says, “Don’t look at what you see—look at Me (Christ)”. Such wise advice when on an emotional roller coaster.
couldn’t agree more with the advice.
So-o sorry you are going through such a hard time, Debi. Praying you are able to get off the roller-coaster ride real soon. Blessings to you and thank you for your transparency as we all go through hard times now and then and with God’s help, we can come out stronger in the end.
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Vickie, Yes that’s the goal isn’t it? Not wasting the struggles but learning from them for our good and God’s
Glory. Thank you for your kind wishes.
In these days of freezing darkness
and these nights of screaming pain,
I am yoked in evil harness,
and it’s coming ’round again.
The landscape dips and spins and falls,
like a Tilt-A-Whirl gone mad,
and it’s all my strength to shun the calls
to the bitter and the bad.
Cancer seems like it’s forever
when it’s just a passing storm,
and if I listen to its haver
bleak despair becomes the norm.
I accept, instead, He paid my price,
and take my refuge in the Christ.
‘haver’ is Scots slang for foolish talk, or babble
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Love, love, love this! I love how you and Tom care for each other. It’s one of the things that so many couples forget to do after years (sometimes sooner) of living together as husband and wife. They forget they did little things that showed that they cherished each other before they married. The memories become distant (and then, so can the vitality of the relationship). But they shouldn’t. It’s important to show our spouse that we love and cherish them for the rest of our lives together.
Hmmmmm… I’m thinking that there is a great book (and mean it)… that you and Tom wrote together that can help them do just that–cherish each other. I hope your readers will get a copy of their own, as Steve and I did. With that book, and Gary Thomas’ book, “Cherish” … we can all find great encouragement to do just that–cherish God and cherish each other. I hope you feel better soon. We’re praying for you, and for Tom with all he is doing for his dad & step mom. ~ God bless, Cindy Wright (from Marriage Missions International)
Thank you, Cindy! So glad to see you were finally able to comment. You are such an encourager.
Tom and Debi
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