In all our years of mentoring marriages we’ve discovered personally how difficult it is for most couples to talk about sexual intimacy. This complicates an already tender topic in many ways.
Imagine you’ve taken a new job, an entry-level position with great benefits. There is only one restriction–you’re not allowed to ask questions or discuss your position with others. You must glean from what you hear, read or see around you. A major problem is that many around you aren’t on your side, so their view can’t be trusted. Fear sets in not knowing who you can trust and if you’ll even be able to keep this job.
This is how we often treat our sexual relationship in marriage. We say, “I Do”, and all of a sudden what was not allowed is now allowed and you’re left to figure it out together. This is fun at first because it’s new and your love has yet to meet obstacles. But they will come! How do I say this with such confidence? It is because we are human and we are each unique.
No two people see eye-to-eye on everything, much less an area which requires such vulnerability like sexual intimacy.
This is one of the benefits of having a marriage blog. It provides a way for couples to get information to help them grow in this area by asking questions and seeking help. We welcome your questions, and if you’d prefer to stay anonymous, which we totally understand, just send us a private email. Then we can address your question to the best of our ability in a future post, or refer you to the answer from one of our friends in the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.
The important thing is to get the help and training you need to succeed in your relationship. We would do the same for our job, how much more should we pursue excellence in our marriage–including the marriage bed. The question is, “Do You Dare?”
Physical Intimacy Prompt: What is one area that you have chosen not to discuss because it is too heated of a topic? Spend some time praying about it and ask God to lead you to the solution needed in order to move forward. Anything worth doing usually comes with its struggles. But what waits on the other side of the difficulty is worth it. If you’ve tried and still no resolve, then take it to the next level–invite someone you trust to help you.
Date Night Idea: What is one way you can express your affection for your spouse this week? Think of something that would make them smile and/or say “Wow!” As an added bonus, make it a surprise to bless them.
Thank you for the way You are leading us in this area of our marriage. Would you help us to find resolve in our physical intimacy for Your glory? We have tried in our own strength and still find it difficult. We need You. Give us wisdom in this regard and help us to increase in our love and affection towards each other. We ask these things in the precious name of Jesus.