“With every look at you a thousand memories flood my mind.”
Tom said these words recently as I was relaxing, reading a magazine. It made me pause and look him in the eyes. I knew he meant them because of the look on his face. Carefully chosen words have the ability to build intimacy as much as thoughtful acts. But how often to we think long and deeply enough to say such things?
This is why Hallmark has made it’s way into our homes. We are basically paying someone else to say what we haven’t taken the time to say in our own words. Now I’m not against Hallmark by any means. In fact I’ve found many a card that said better what I wanted to say myself. But still…are we short-changing our spouse by not at least making an effort to say what we want to say in our own way of saying it? And think of the personalization missing from a store-bought card. Only you know the things that mean the most to your spouse. I encourage you to take the love letter challenge this month and let your spouse hear your heart by the words you write.
Need help getting started?
I recently read a post by a life coach, Jordan Gray, who gives excellent steps on how to write your own love letter. It’s titled, How To Write A Love Letter That Will Make Them Cry. We are sharing their seven steps below.. Click on his link to read about each step.
- Start with why you are writing this love letter.
- What do they bring to your life?
- Allude to memories that you share.
- What do you love about them.
- What do they not get told enough by you or others?
- The details – While it’s nice to praise the things hidden in plain view, I find that the most memorable moments in love letters come from finding the super specific details that you love about the love letter recipient and letting them be known. Just imagine… your love letter could be the first thing in the recipients entire life that lets them know that they have some specific gift that they bring to another’s life. And every time they notice that detail about themselves, the thought will be linked back to you and your thoughtful letter.
- Plans for the future.
Date Night Prompt: Plan a night with little to no distractions, including you screens. Play Favorite Memory Guessing Game – Think of a favorite memory you share. Give your spouse one hint at a time to see if they can guess what you are thinking of. See who can get it right with the least number of hints.
Emotional Intimacy Prompt: Ask your spouse what you’ve done or said recently to make them feel encouraged and special. If they can’t think of anything, plan to do something soon that will encourage them in a way only you can.