We had the privilege of attending two weddings so far this year. Witnessing a new family being established under the covenant of marriage is something we don’t take lightly. Hearing the wedding vows are oftentimes over-the-top impossible to keep. Phrases like, “I will never go to sleep angry.” Or “I will never break your heart.”Ummm, yes you will!

When two sinners marry each other, sin will happen. It’s what we do with it that marks a healthy relationship.

When Tom and I got married we were young and very much in love. But there were things we didn’t know about the other. God knew as we innocently and sincerely said our vows, we would be severely tested in three years time. It was a very hard season for us.

I loved Tom, but didn’t understand some of the things with which he struggled. He was my best friend and the only one I could talk to about my struggle…with him.

I didn’t know it then, but this was the best thing for our marriage.

Through the struggles and heartache, our friendship and empathy for each other deepened. We witnessed God’s kindness to us even in our sinful struggles. The Gospel light in our marriage began to burn brighter.

While we were waiting for change, trusting God was all we had.

We have learned that sometimes God takes us to the very end of our abilities, so what remains is His ability!

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.” – Romans 8:28-30 ESV

What things are you struggling with as you wait for God to change your spouse?

This can be a make-it or break-it season in your marriage. We have discovered that leaning in to God is the safest place to rest when the weather in your marriage is unpredictable.

If He is the God who calms the sea, He can certainly calm the storm in your marriage. Do you have the faith to believe it? If not, ask Him. He is the Author AND finisher of your faith, as well as your spouse’s. And He is more committed to us changing for His glory, than we are.

If you are struggling waiting for your spouse to change, tell God. He has purposes for you, too as you wait. Only those who ask receive this benefit.

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We realize it is hard to read a post like this if you are struggling with an unrepentant spouse. We invite you to email us so we can pray for you. God sees and knows every detail of your marriage journey. We can confidently say, those who take God at His Word discover He is faithful to complete the work in your marriage. Do you believe it?

Blessings to every marriage reading this post,

Tom and Debi ❤️❤️