Intimacy In Marriage – My dear friend, Julie, is running a series on Thursdays about the difficulties marriages face that can have an adverse effect on our sexual intimacy. Here are some of the titles to other posts in this series:

• Are Skewed Beliefs Destroying Sex In Your Marriage?
• Is Porn Destroying Sex In Your Marriage?
• Is Unforgiveness Destroying Sex In Your Marriage?
• Are Financial Struggles Destroying Sex In Your Marriage?

She asked if I would post about the effect of menopause on sex, which I was happy to do. It’s a door all women will walk through at some point in their marriage, and it’s good to be prepared. Thank you, Julie, for the opportunity to sound such a needed alarm.

Before I begin, may I encourage all of you who are in your 20s and 30s to not check out of reading this because you think it doesn’t apply to you.

I’ve researched and written this post primarily with you in mind. Promise to read it? Ok, good. Thank you!

When Julie asked us to contribute to her guest blog series on things that take a toll on sex in marriage, I knew I had to approach the topic of Sex and Menopause and Perimenopause (PM).

Having gone through this myself (I’m 56), I only had my limited experience and a few friends I’ve talk to from which to glean. This is why I decided to ask readers through a 10-question survey about this apparently much-needed topic.

I also solicited the help from the CMBA marriage bloggers I know and asked them to alert their readers of the survey as well. I am pleased with the response. If you participated, thank you!

First, let me say, menopause is a mystery to most couples, even when you’re going through it.

Desires that once were a given, may no longer be on the radar screen. For those who have yet to experience it, you most likely don’t care to think about “that stage” of life. You’re too busy raising a family for goodness sakes.

I get that.

Second, everyone is different when it comes to how they’ll go through the “change of life,” as my parent’s generation called it.

After reading nearly 200 respondents answers to my survey, I understand why they gave it that name; It can change your life in ways you never thought would happen- – not to you anyway.

Finally, whatever difficulty you’ve had with your sexual intimacy and in your marriage for that matter, will be magnified during this season. This is why if you’re young and reading this, please, please work hard to keep the lines of communication open through all that you face together.

Holding back out of fear, shame or pride will only make things worse as the years pass. The pain you experience now in facing it won’t compare to the pain many of the couples shared who are facing menopause and unable to connect with their spouse in an understanding way…(continue reading: Is Menopause Destroying Sex In Your Marriage?)

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