Pirates of our Union

I know that is a strange title, but you’ll see what we mean.  To continue from our post on Tuesday, we want to explore those things that nip away the romance from our marriage.  We eluded to them then, but today we will go after them at length.

In Song of Solomon 2:15 it says:  “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.”

These little foxes are like pirates out to sabotage the romance in our marriage.  We must be on guard against them.

Dennis and Barbara Rainey do an excellent job in identifying the little foxes in their relationship – maybe you’ll see the pirates in yours as well:

If you want to taste the delicious fruit of romantic love in your relationship then you’d better pay close attention to those things that are “nipping your love in the bud.” For Barbara and me, these “foxes” have included:

  • Wrong priorities
  • Young kids who wear you out so you have little energy for romance
  • Teenagers who won’t go to bed
  • Financial pressures
  • Changing seasons of a marriage
  • Poor health
  • Crowded schedules
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • A critical spirit
  • Unresolved conflict

I think the most deadly fox, however, is apathy. If you truly are committed to making your marriage last for a lifetime and to enjoying the type of oneness God intends in a relationship, you need to make a choice to commit some time and energy to keeping romance in your marriage.

To put that spark back into your marriage, I have three suggestions:

First, identify the “foxes” stealing your romance and make plans for how to face them. For example, many couples with young children could find more time together simply by establishing more routine in their homes and putting the kids to bed earlier.

Second, discover how your spouse views romance. Men and women usually see romance through different lenses.

Third, take the time to plan something creative. Do something different, out of the ordinary, something that will capture your spouse’s attention and communicate romance in the language he or she understands.

We hope by identifying the pirates it will make it less likely for them to sneak up on you doing great damage to your marital union.  Stay on guard, keep your vows and glorify God by making your marriage one that accurately reflects Christ’s relationship with His Bride – the church!  What a privilege to sail upon the sea of God’s amazing mercy and grace.  It is full of adventure, excitement and (for husbands and wives) – romance!

There have never been more glorious sunsets than those shared with your spouse by your side.

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One Response to Pirates of our Union

  1. John says:

    Thank you for the great post and great encouragement! I was just reading a blog by Kevin DeYoung on the Gospel Coalition website for 2/12, and goes along with this post nicely. He must of read your blog yesterday! Although this pastor doesn’t normally blog on the marriage relationship, he does assemble some good thoughts on his blog for 2/11 and 2/12. I’ll put the link in hopes it creates some additional encouragement for others as it did for me. Thanks again Tom and Debi!!!
    http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevindeyoung/

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