This week I don’t have to think twice about what to share with you. The purpose of today’s post is to give you a glimpse into our lives, our marriage, in hopes of helping you learn from our strengths and/or weaknesses.
This week it’s MY weakness I’m sharing with you!
For the past three weeks I’ve been suffering with vertigo. Not the normal kind of dizziness, but the kind most people haven’t heard of before. I went to an Ear and Balance Specialist last week only to be told I would have to wait nearly another week for a test to determine what was the cause. <big sigh of worry>
You see, my dad died 6 1/2 years ago of brain cancer. I cringe whenever I hear of someone else being diagnosed with this horrible disease. Since my dad’s cancer was inoperable, he only lived eight weeks from the time he was diagnosed. God was so good to him during those weeks. He was happy and without pain. It was an evidence of God’s great love for him in how God cared for him so sweetly. I learned much from those few short weeks, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. He is with his Savior now and wouldn’t choose to return if he could.
Yet, last week I was tempted to think something was seriously wrong with me. I struggled with fear and great anxiety. Tom helped me, prayed for me, listened to me and most often encouraged me with Scripture to build my faith and silence my fears.
But fear still fought on. It was a constant battle.
On Wednesday I finally had my test, only to find I have an inner ear virus making my ears overly sensitive to movement. Sort of like the feeling you have when you get off of a roller coaster – and I hate roller coasters! The remedy is to take one pill for three months, and I’ll completely recover!
As we walked to the car after receiving my good news, I cried! I cried because I was relieved and repentant over my lack of faith in God to carry me through bad news, even though it didn’t come. Tom kept reminding me that if we had received “bad news”, God would have provided the grace to endure the diagnosis as He so faithfully did with my Dad.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34
No, I didn’t receive bad news of a terminal illness, but I realized in this test that I lack something I must ask God for – a sensitivity, not to physical movement, but to God’s work in my life, whether or not I understand what He’s doing. I must remember – He is in control even when it seems life is spinning out of control. A great lesson for all of us to remember in our lives and in our marriages.
Have a great weekend!