Photo Credit:

This describes my mood lately.  It is so-so.  If I let my mind follow my feelings I’m afraid I would spiral downward.  Why the melancholy mood?  Mainly because my daughter is moving the end of this month to Georgia.  Every day is marked with, “I won’t be able to do this with her…” thoughts.  Make-up is futile.  We have never lived far apart since the day she was born.  I thought when she left my house on her wedding day was hard enough.  It was, but this is even more so.



Photo Credit: MonAmourphotography

Yet life goes on.  There is laundry to do, blogs to post, devotions to read, projects to complete and even weddings to plan.  Not to mention caring for my son and his family, my daughter who still lives at home, and my husband who works hard and needs time with me.  I can feel the pull to get in the car and just….go to the beach.  But my feelings would only go with me, attempting to spoil that as well.

What do we do when our feelings are hijacking our joy?  There is only one solution, and I believe it is the one God is after in the midst of these so-so moments.  Pray!  He desires us to come to Him with our so-so moods and offer them up in a sacrifice of praise.  Suddenly the word “sacrifice” here makes much more sense.  When you don’t feel happy, you certainly don’t feel like praising God.  But when we lay our feelings aside and do it anyway – this glorifies God in a way our good days never can.

Photo Credit: Don Moen album

This can be applied to our marriage too.  How many times have you simply not felt very loving toward your spouse?  Romance is so-so. Your commitment is there, just no intense or passionate feelings.  The answer is simple really – we keep doing what we know to do. Keep acting like you feel passionate and your feelings will follow.  Is this faking it?  It can “feel” like it, but again our feelings are misleading us.  It is good for our minds to tell our feelings what to feel.  When we do the opposite and let our feelings tell our minds we become self-focused and are greatly tempted to self-pity.

I know this post is unusual for The Romantic Vineyard.  I am giving you a glimpse into my heart, and the struggle I’m facing.  I hope hearing how God is helping me, will help you see His hand at work in your life and in your marriage too.

I am feeling so-so grateful to God that He isn’t swayed by my emotions.  Truth stands firm no matter how fickle the landscape, even when the landscape is leading away from my home to Georgia.  😦

How do you face these so-so moments?

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 40 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
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11 Responses to So-So!

  1. Hi! I have just started reading your blog. God must have planned this perfectly! You see I left my nest in 2002, home was in Argentina. From my perspective, I was flying high stretching my wings and making my own story. Now I have a family and amvery happily married. This post helped me understand my moms tears and her loss. Now I am a mother and can only imagine what she has gone through and is going through being so far away.
    You have brought tears to my eyes and I am getting ready to call my mom and thank her for letting me go even though it meant lossing a piece of her in the process.
    Thank you for this post!


    • Debi Walter says:

      You have brought tears to MY eyes this morning – realizing my struggle can actually help someone else who lives far away. God is good, and I am grateful you took the time to share with me a little of your story. I pray your phone conversation with your Mom will be the highlight of your day – I know it will be hers! Welcome to our Vineyard. We hope you’ll feel at home here.


  2. Shawnie McGahey says:

    I too am swallowed up by these “so-so” moments in my life right now. Things are very hard. But I do what you do…remember what the truth is. I constantly recite truth to myself and not let my thoughts be captivated by my feelings. Well, I am not always successful at this but I try to make it my mindset. My flesh wants to wallow in self-pity and sorrow and sadness, but what kind of a wife does that make me? The kind a husband really doesn’t want to be around. So yes, I too “fake” it because my unending love for my husband is not based on feelings, but on truth. I act on truth. Well, again, most of the time. When I don’t, my marriage suffers from it. He is on my team and we are one and the enemy would like to separate us to make us less effective for the Father. I refuse to let him win!!!! So the truth sets me free from the lies that I deserve to wallow in the bad feelings and take it out on my husband. Then that makes us a stronger team to serve our Father, even when life is hard. We walk the hard path together. I want him to want to be around me!!!!!!


    • Debi Walter says:

      Thanks for sharing your heart, Shawnie. It helps to know I’m not alone in these struggles. I guess it’s true – we’re all in this together. I appreciate your open and honest words. Love you dearly, friend!


  3. John Panzella says:

    “Fake it ’till you make it!” is what Steve Brown encourages others. Besides “faking it,” you gave the best solution, PRAY! Praying to our compassionate God is the best strategy we have to rescue us from our downward spiral and the potential or resulting collision with the “bottom.” I can sometimes spend too much time at the lowest point of my spiral.

    Our prayer displays our love and trust and contentment and ultimately, surrender to the gracious God who gives us all good things, including our family. We love you! I look forward to seeing a new depth of God’s glory, that “eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,” flow from you and your ministry. (2 Cor. 4:16-18)


    • Debi Walter says:

      It is so good to hear from you again, John! We are praying for you, friend. May God continue to meet you at the top of the spiral.
      Tom and Debi


  4. Pingback: Out Of The Depths | The Romantic Vineyard

  5. Wilbur Holz says:

    Nicely said, your post reminds me of the old Imperials song, “Praise the Lord”.

    When you’re up against a struggle,
    that shatters all your dreams,
    and you hopes are cruelly crushed
    by Satan’s manifested schemes.
    And you feel the urge within you
    to submit to earthly fears,
    don’t let the faith you’re standing in
    seem to disappear.

    Praise the Lord, . . .


    • Debi Walter says:

      I remember that song – Thanks for reminding me of it. And thanks for commenting – we love hearing from you! Have a blessed day!!


  6. Praying for you two and family. Transitions, huh?! Thanks for sharing your journey.

    …and thanks for mentioning us at the end of one of your posts last week. Love the way you point to Christ in your writing. How do people go through life w/0 Him?!


    • Debi Walter says:

      R & M,
      We have no idea how one could live life without Him. Thanks for stopping by, but even more so for praying for us. Transitions are difficult, but we know the One who leading the way.

      We’re so happy to share this journey with you. Blessings!
      Tom and Debi


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