The “IF” Factor

Photo Credit: GU's Verden

“IF” is a small word which holds a powerful punch.  In fact it is capable of holding many spouses hostage by it’s accusations. If only I hadn’t done such and such.  What if this had happened instead of THIS?

Think about how many times you’ve pondered the “If only I hadn’t done _______!”  or “If only I had done _______!” statements since you’ve been married. Or worse, the “if only he/she hadn’t done this…!” statements.  Think about how many times you’ve pondered the “What if this hadn’t happened?” question since you’ve been married.

“If” is a powerful word, but only as powerful as we allow it to be. 

We spent our date night this week talking about this little word.  We have had our issues with the word “if” through the years.  It could have had a powerful hold on us, BUT!  We have chosen to resist it’s lure by applying Scripture to it’s every question.

What is the proper answer to the “what if” question?  It’s simply that God’s grace will help me face every tomorrow with His power.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”  Matthew 6:34

What is the answer to the “if only” questions?

“…forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.”  Philippians 3:13b – 15

If there are hurts and regrets that I can’t do anything about today, I must take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

If my obedience to the things I do today don’t produce the results I expect, what should this matter to me?  My job is to be obedient, but the results are up to God!

The question to ask ourselves on a regular basis is, “Am I doing today what God has called me to do?”  If the answer is “yes,” then I MUST leave the “if onlys” with Him.  And I must leave the “what if’s” with Him as well.

Impossible you say?  Absolutely apart from the help which God provides.  His plan is to lead us through this life, but to continually show us our need for a Savior.  When we feel incapable of going any further – this is exactly where He desires us to be – dependent on Him.

And He is ABLE!

Did you hear that?  He is able to carry us, carry YOU, through every “if” moment.   We must simply acknowledge our need for His help.  Cry out to Him, and he will turn your what if’s and if onlys into amazing miracles wrought for His glory.

How are you tempted with the “if” questions?

This entry was posted in Christian Marriage, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, The Gospel & Marriage and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The “IF” Factor

  1. Lori says:

    Oh YES, Debi!

    “The question to ask ourselves on a regular basis is, “Am I doing today what God has called me to do?” If the answer is “yes,” then I MUST leave the “if onlys” with Him. And I must leave the “what if’s” with Him as well.”

    I needed to hear that reaffirmed today! Moving forward in faith…

    Like

    • Debi Walter says:

      Yes, Lori. May we all move “forward in faith.” Three little words, but we so often miss them by those two little words, “what if” and “if only”. On another note, we need to connect about when we can get together. 🙂 Looking forward to it so much!

      Like

  2. riverand says:

    I love this post and I am so happy you told me about it. As I prepared for the “What IF” project on my blog, I opened up the question to many of the blogging and social media communities I am in. I asked what are your big WHAT IF questions. My plan, from the beginning, was that this project would lead us down philosophical thought, stretch our writing, perhaps creatively, and just get us all *thinking* about life, things we take for granted, some silly stuff and understanding on another.

    I have a list of questions, but I thought audience input could be fun. I was so surprised by how many What IF suggestions came back in the form you speak of in your post today!

    My husband and I have been through too many of life’s challenges in our three year (tomorrow’s our 3 year anniversary) marriage and 14 year relationship, overall. There is no room for those kinds of what ifs! I’m sure a couple have snuck in on a day where someone didn’t get enough sleep or another one of us was cranky, but, you are right – the “if onlys” are completely out of our hands!

    I’ll definitely take this one with me tonight, not for my immediate tomorrow, which shall be a celebration, but for those tomorrows that shall challenge me later:
    “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34

    Thank You 🙂

    Like

    • Debi Walter says:

      Happy Anniversary to you!! I’m so glad we’ve met – we pray your special day will be filled with new memories you’ll enjoy looking back on. We look forward to more of your What If posts.
      Blessings,
      Tom and Debi

      Like

  3. Pingback: A Fragrant Aroma – Final Gift | The Romantic Vineyard

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