Do You Wanna?

After thirty three years of being together, I still love to hold Debi’s hand. I love touching her, and it’s one way I can that is acceptable in public. While holding hands we can give each other signals that no one else sees or knows. It’s just us, connecting as husband and wife in an everyday, ordinary kind of way. Do you like to hold hands?

I had no idea that there was actually a technique to master.  Read the top ten techniques below to see how many you and your spouse have mastered.

Top Ten Hand Holding Techniques:

1. The Passive Hand Hold

This is hand holding in its simplest form: your sweetheart’s hand gently but firmly cupped in yours.  It’s most appropriate for public environments where you want to remain tasteful and avoid looking “clingy,” but is still a great, effective way to add physicality to your romantic relationship.

2. The Intertwined Fingers Hand Hold

A step up from the Passive Hand Hold, Intertwined Fingers provides a firmer grip and an increased sense of intimacy.  This type of hand holding is perfect while taking a romantic walk together, but it can have a downside of sweaty palms!

3. The One-Finger Hand Hold

Holding just one of your lover’s fingers is a more romantically playful method for times when you’re feeling flirtatious.  This is the easiest hand hold for your sweetheart to pull away from, but is still a great way to add some fun intimacy to the mix.

4. The Massaging Hand Hold

Turning a simple hand-holding session into a relaxing massage is a wonderful romantic surprise to give your sweetheart.  There’s an art to romantic massage, and an unlimited number of ways you can caress your lover’s hands and give attention to each finger.  This hand-holding method is best used while sitting down!

5. The Two-Hand Hold

Here’s another technique that is tough to do while standing, but one of the best ways to add some serious physicality and intimacy to hand holding.  Taking your sweetheart’s hand in both of yours will give them a deep sense of security, importance and calm.

6. The Palm Caress Hand Hold

This method is an intimate, secret way to tastefully caress your lover without being noticed by others around you.  Starting with the Passive or Intertwined Fingers technique, use one of your fingers to gently rub your sweetheart’s palm in an up-and-down or swirling fashion.

7. The Kissing Hand Hold

The Kissing Hand Hold is perfect for intimate situations when you’re alone with your special someone, and is often combined with the Two-Hand Hold.  Clean hands are perfect for kissing, and you should never be afraid to shower your lover’s fingertips, palms and wrists with romantic pecks!

8. The Gentle Pinching Hand Hold

This one isn’t right for every romantic relationship, and can be a little too playful and rough for some couples.  But gently pinching your lover’s fingertips and palms, if done correctly, can be an exciting, fun experience for you and your sweetheart, as long as you make sure you don’t do it too hard.

9. The Warm-Up Hand Hold

When it’s cold outside, there’s no better way to warm up your fingers than by having them caressed and rubbed lovingly by your favorite person in the world.  Don’t make your sweetheart use a heater when you have two perfectly good, warm hands to help them out!  Combine this technique with the Massaging Hand Hold for a great effect.

10. The The Morse-Code Hand Hold

This is the most unorthodox and interactive hand-holding technique, but can be a heck of a lot of fun if you and your lover can master it.  Agree ahead of time of a phrase that you want to share with each other silently–such as “I love you”–and assign it a number of squeezes that correspond with the syllables in the phrase.  Your sweetheart will remember that when you squeeze three times it means “I-love-you” . . . and can respond with a four-squeeze “I-love-you-too”!


Next time you hold hands consider the connection you are demonstrating and thank God for it. Not only do you have the privilege of holding your bride’s hand, but you also have the honor of holding her heart.

This entry was posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Romance in Marriage, romancing your spouse, romancing your wife and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Do You Wanna?

  1. Sharon O says:

    Good thoughts shared, thank you.


  2. Wow, I never realized there were so many versions. Makes sense and their intpretations. Love that you BOTH write.


  3. Lori says:

    OK – this post is just BRILLIANT!!!

    I’ve always been a “fan” of holding hands – it feels just downright odd when Rob and I are walking together and we’re not holding hands. Sometimes, we even hold hands while sleeping and we do the pinky hold when it’s hot out. I put my arm through Rob’s when we walk and I’m feeling unsteady/hurting… but your post just carries it to the next level!

    For me, this one is a top-shelf “keeper”!

    Thanks, Tom. 🙂


    • Debi Walter says:

      Yes, it is Lori! I love that Tom loves to hold my hand. Even when it’s hot outside – we do the pinky hold too! 🙂


  4. I was just thinking about this topic this morning as I was holding my little girl’s hand as we walked home from dropping off her sisters. The amazing value of holding another’s hand.


  5. Helz-Design says:

    wasn.t aware of so many different ways of holding hands.
    wonder if there is a difference in passive handholding with a lover or a child.

    handholding gives shelter too 🙂
    especially when you hold your child.s hand.

    although it is suitable in public it is also a very intimate way of showing that two belong together!


    • Debi Walter says:

      I believe there is a huge difference in the way a husband a wife hold hands compared to that of holding your child’s hand. A husband and wife are one flesh. God has united their hearts as one, so their holding hands is an expression of their oneness. When I hold a child’s hand it is more of an affection for their well being and safety. I am on the outside guiding and protecting them. Where as husband and wife are united on the inside expressing this truth outwardly. Great question!


  6. Love this list! Will definitely share it with others! Thank you for sharing.


  7. Pingback: It’s more than just your hands! | Encourage Your Spouse

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