Love is Not Arrogant

We are continuing our Love Is series

Arrogance is easily detected by those who are observing it in others, yet it is hardly noticed by those who are themselves arrogant.

I should know because I lived completely unaware of my own arrogance for years until the Lord in His mercy decided it was time to give me a good look at myself in the mirror.   It was a painful reality to see my reflection as others always had.  And the realization that my husband loved me in spite of my arrogance brought me to tears.

One evening, while Tom and I were away on a business trip, we were slow dancing to a Bette Midler song when I sensed the Lord give me a glimpse of how Tom loved me despite my arrogance.  I had oftentimes judged Tom uncharitably based on my expectations and my plans.  I didn’t consider that the Lord was speaking to him too, giving direction and guidance.  I figured if he wasn’t seeing things as I was then he must be missing God!  This, my friends, is sheer – unadulterated arrogance.  This thought was impressed on my heart, “So who made you the standard for what a godly life should look like?”

Of course I had never actually said I was the standard, but after considering my thoughts and motives – this is how I treated Tom.  And most likely how I treated others as well.  It was an ugly truth I had to face.  I am grateful beyond words that I did!  I am even more grateful for a husband who has committed to love me for better or worse for he was seeing me at my worse yet loved me all the more.  How like Christ is his love for me. and this is what led me into true repentance.

My love for the Lord and respect for Tom increased seemingly overnight!  This is the way love grows in a humble heart, simply and without effort.  Of course, I didn’t notice, but others did.  Arrogance and humility are both undetected by its possessors.  The proof comes from the observations of those who are closest to us.  Only the humble person will ask!

About Debi Walter

Tom and Debi have been sharing encouragements through their blogs for many years. Marriage, Reading God's Word and documenting family history is our focus. Growing in our relationship with the Lord is primary in all we say, write or do. We are grateful for all who desire to join us in the same endeavors.
This entry was posted in Christian Marriage, Love is. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Love is Not Arrogant

  1. Cecilia says:

    I never thought that the conviction of doing what one thinks it’s best can come across as arrogant. This is a troubling thought for me, specially because I have a tendency to equate humility with meekness. While I would never want to be a doormat, I definitely would never want to be perceived as arrogant, either! Very fine line… and very humbling, as well…


    • Debi Walter says:


      You’re right it is a fine line between the two, but for me – I was basically looking down on Tom’s way and preferring my way as God’s way. This is what I meant by “arrogance”. I was thinking my way was superior to Tom’s. And it wasn’t. This is why I truly was in need of repentance. Thanks for your thoughts!


  2. Pingback: I won’t kill them, but neither will I protect them.

  3. Pingback: Love Does Not Insist On Its Own Way! | The Romantic Vineyard

Comments are closed.