What We’ve Learned About Marriage in 33 Years

Today is our 33rd wedding anniversary, and it is the fourth anniversary we’ve shared with you since beginning The Romantic Vineyard. We are grateful to have this platform to share what we’ve learned about marriage so far. We say “so far,” because as long as we’re alive we will continue to learn, grow, succeed and even fail. Through it all we know that God is with us, showing us and teaching us more about what true love is. He is the One we follow and purpose to be more like, and He is the One who receives the glory for our love and our marriage. It’s all for HIM.

Now for our list:

  1. Make worshiping and praying together your first priority.
  2. Give your lives away together by serving others.
  3. Surround yourself with marriages you respect and want to emulate.
  4. It is more fun to sleep together than to sleep alone.
  5. Be quick to resolve conflict and to confess sin. Humility strengthens marriage, pride tears it down.
  6. Always think the best.
  7. Plan frequent times to be alone each day, month and year.
  8. Share all things together – including your checkbook.
  9. Make your spouse smile in ways only you can.
  10. Continually grow your love – see 1 Corinthians 13
  11. Outdo one another in showing honor.
  12. Never stop expressing your love…“I love you,” isn’t just a quaint phrase. It has weight.
  13. Have regular date nights, whether going out or staying at home.
  14. Seek to love Christ more and your love for your spouse will grow as well.
  15. Study your spouse and do things to bless them according to their likes and desires.
  16. Share your dreams and purpose to make them come true.
  17. Never stop dreaming about what could be.
  18. Guard your heart against temptation and help your spouse guard theirs.
  19. Pray FOR your spouse on a daily basis.
  20. Always be aware of what is weighing on your spouse’s heart and mind.
  21. Communication – learn how to communicate effectively.
  22. Read good books together, including the Bible.
  23. Share what you’ve learned with others–this will help them, and it will encourage you.
  24. Never forget why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place.
  25. Be spontaneous when it comes to romance.
  26. Lay your life down in practical ways–do the dishes, fix a meal, rake the yard, brew the coffee, massage their neck, listen for needs and seek to fulfill them.
  27. Care for your spouse in the everyday, little moments.
  28. Hold hands.
  29. Give your full attention whenever your spouse is speaking to you.
  30. Always kiss good morning, good night and goodbye. Just kiss often, and let the children see you kissing too.
  31. Be your spouse’s biggest fan.
  32. Celebrate your special days together in special ways, i.e. anniversaries, marriage proposal anniversaries, birthdays, etc.
  33. Be thankful, grateful and ever aware of the gift from God your spouse is to you.
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23 Responses to What We’ve Learned About Marriage in 33 Years

  1. Congratulations on 33 years! 😀 Amazing list! 😛

  2. Destiny says:

    This is s great list! While my husband & I have only been married a bit less than two years we follow almost all your points. We’re working on some of the others. When we married, he said we don’t have to have a marriage like everyone else. It’s best to see a marriage like we desire.

    Happy anniversary!

    • Debi Walter says:

      Thank you, Destiny. Your husband sounds exactly how Tom was when we first married. He was purposeful in making sure our marriage would be what God intended it to be, not what the culture dictated. Two years in, and you’re doing well! Congrats!

  3. lorilowe says:

    Happy 33rd anniversary to you both. It’s great that you share your marital joy and encourage others that they also can have a loving, intimate marriage. Congratulations to you and to your family!

  4. Stephanie says:

    Happy Anniversary!!! What a grat example you are to all of us out there!!!! I love your blog thanks for all you do I know it takes great time and effort. Have a great rest of vacation with your hubby!!!

    • Debi Walter says:

      Thank you, Stephanie. We appreciate greatly your kind words! So glad you’ve found our blog helpful! And we ARE having a great time together. 🙂

  5. Danie says:

    Thanks for being an inspiration! It is my prayer that my husband and I will be as in love and still growing as you and Tom are in 30 years (we are on our 3rd year of marriage). 🙂

    • Debi Walter says:

      Danie,
      How exciting! Our 3rd year was just the beginning of really getting to know each other. It has been such a journey, but one full of stories and life-changing experiences. Thank you for taking the time to comment!
      Debi

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  7. David says:

    awesome

  8. How Awesome! Congratulations you two love birds! 33 years and counting… How fun! We love the list of tips and love both of you!!! Have a GREAT anniversary! Your love for each other inspires us all! – Cindy & Steve Wright from Marriagemissions.com

    • Debi Walter says:

      Steve and Cindy,
      You know how much we love you guys! Thank you for your kind wishes! You inspire US!
      Tom and Debi

  9. Deanna Pierpont says:

    It is wonderful to see it written down. My husband and I will be married 49 years this year and have been blessed to learn much of the same. I thank God for the blessings of our lives and that of our families and friends.

  10. Well first off Congratulations!! What an example you are to all of us!! Secondly, wonderful tips, I shall to apply every single one to my marriage. I am currently doing so with the hubby. I have committed to 52 dates in a year to my darling husband. I strive to have a “forever” marriage filled with joy, kindness, laughter and sacrifice. You guys are one of the mentors in my life. Thank you for blogging about it.

    • Debi Walter says:

      Thanks for stopping by Danielle. We’re so happy to hear you’ve found some of our ideas helpful. Welcome to the blogosphere. We pray your marriage will continue to grow as your purpose to romance each other on a regular basis.
      Blessings,
      Debi

  11. Mrsmwiti says:

    Happy anniversary. Great tips.

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