Making Time For Romance When Life Is Too Busy

Image courtesy of FrameAngel at

Image courtesy of FrameAngel at

There are times in marriage when life is too busy to focus on romance, and it’s okay. There are lots of ways to appreciate your spouse and to help your romantic love grow during such seasons.  But you might not notice them in the chaos. Thus the purpose of this post.

Making time for little evidences of romance in the busyness of life:

  1. When your husband offers to give the kids a bath so you can enjoy a few minutes of quiet while cleaning the kitchen.
  2. When your wife brews your coffee and brings it to you while you’re getting dressed for work.
  3. When your not feeling well and your spouse does something like rub your back or fluff your pillow to make you more comfortable.
  4. When your children are disobeying you and your spouse corrects them for their disobedience, but also for disrespecting you.
  5. When your spouse tells your children what a gift you are to him/her.
  6. When you share a burden with your spouse and their first response is to take your hand and pray for God’s help.
  7. When you are craving something sweet and your spouse either buys it for you or makes it for you.
  8. When your spouse remembers something you said you wanted and orders it for you on Amazon and lets it arrive unexpected on your doorstep.
  9. When your spouse does one of your chores when you didn’t ask them to.
  10. When you take the time to organize an area of the house because you know your spouse likes order.
  11. When you receive a text for no reason in the middle of the day that says, “You’re beautiful!” or “I thank God for you!”
  12. When seeing each other for the first time after a long, busy day, kissing as if you haven’t seen each other in months.
  13. Giving your spouse space when they are feeling overwhelmed.
  14. Making a way for your spouse to have time with friends. Maybe even plan a date without them knowing it until the day arrives.
  15. Asking your wife to go out with you after you’ve made all the plans and arranged a babysitter.
  16. Getting up before your wife to clean the kitchen so she starts her day with a fresh start.
  17. Not expecting too much from your spouse when they are stressed, but looking for ways to show understanding and empathy instead.
  18. Writing notes that say specific things you appreciate about your spouse and leaving it somewhere so they’ll find it later. Maybe even make a game of it by hiding 20 notes and telling them how many are waiting to be found.
  19. Washing your wife’s car and cleaning it on the inside as well, with no lectures on how the car got messy in the first place.
  20. Giving your spouse time to read a favorite book, magazine or on-line publication.
  21. Buying your spouse’s favorite snack and have it waiting for them when they need it most: at work, in the bath, before bed, etc.
  22. Doing something to take their breath away without any expectation for something in return.

The key to all this is being intentional in showing your love in practical ways–giving more thought to what your spouse needs than to what you need.

These are a few ways that Tom and I have helped our romance last 35+ years. In fact, today marks the 36th anniversary of the day Tom proposed to me. 🙂 Little did I know what a gift he would be to me. He has taught me how to be intentional regarding romance more through his actions than by his words, and I am grateful to God for the gift of Tom.

I share this post with you in the hopes of helping you grow in showing romance to your spouse even when it seems impossible. Like our pastor taught us years ago,


If romance is important, and loving your spouse is your top priority, you’ll make time to express little evidences of romance, even during the busiest of seasons.

In what ways have you expressed romantic love when not feeling so romantic?

About Debi Walter

Tom and Debi have been sharing encouragements through their blogs for many years. Marriage, Reading God's Word and documenting family history is our focus. Growing in our relationship with the Lord is primary in all we say, write or do. We are grateful for all who desire to join us in the same endeavors.
This entry was posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Hindrances to Romance, Priorities, Romance in Marriage and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Making Time For Romance When Life Is Too Busy

  1. This is a good post! Being busy is never an excuse that we can’t perform our role as a loving spouse! Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂


    • Debi Walter says:

      If only couples would realize this when they first got married. Life has a way of squeezing the romance out of us if we’re not attentive to it.
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts too!


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