Every month (the second Monday) we are featured on the Engaged Marriage blog. Our topic is romance in marriage. Following is this month’s post…
If marriage is like a house, then romance is the central air and heat.
Think about it. A marriage can make it without romance–many couples have proven this fact, just as you can live in a house without central air and heat. It may be do-able, but it certainly won’t be as enjoyable.
When things get difficult in your life–trouble with work, children, schooling, relationships–it’s nice to know your spouse is there to let you vent about the struggle. It’s even better if your spouse plans something special, romantic even, to help you get your mind off the trouble at hand.
Romance is NOT foreplay, but it can be.
Any husband or wife, who is using romance as a way to get what they want in the bedroom, is abusing this very special gift.
Romance is like a comfortable chair in your favorite room of the house. It feels right.
Romance has the ability to cool a heated situation or heat up your relationship when the air has chilled.
Romance is something you share with your spouse alone. No one else has the privilege of romancing you, and vice versa.
Do you see romance as more of a privilege or an obligation?
How you answer this question is key to how successful showing romance to your spouse will be. (Read more…)
The romantic temperature here…not much, I’m afraid. Somehow that was lost, and the relationship has become friendly but a bit formal.
It’;s a “don’t let this happen to you” story; things have been distant in that regard for so long that I have forgotten the feeling of why romance was desired in the first place. I can’t visualize it, except to be somewhat embarrassed.
And as for sex, it’s something that would allow a vulnerability with which the current “me” is not comfortable. I know it’s important; I know that cuddling, kisses and the like are far more important that rebuilding a V-12 aeroplane engine.
But now I see myself in the oil and metal; I’ve become the machine, and the softness is lost.
Don’t let this happen to you. You will not like what you find on this road.
By the way – the “Today’s Tip” on not saying anything in jest if it contains the sting of truth doesn’t come up – I get a “site not found” message.
Andrew, your story is sad to hear. This is why we work so hard to help couples stay current in their romance, their conflicts and their friendship. Your story hopefully will help others work diligently.
Thanks for the heads up on the tip. You can find our daily tips on our FB page or on our iPhone app.
God bless and we pray your marriage will be revived. It’s possible, but not easy.
Tom and Debi
Thank you – it is sad, but even in the stillness there is the opportunity for grace, compassion, courtesy, fair play, and kindness. It may be hard to revive romance – but I can still treat my wife, and my marriage, with a degree of honour.
I will not give up. It may not be perfect; but the engine runs, the wheels turn, and we can share a smile.
I will check your FB page; I’m afraid I don’t have an iPhone.
Andrew, Well said! You are displaying such love and eespect for your marriage vows, and God is gloridied. I pray He works a surprising miracle in your relationship. Merry Christmas!