We’ve all heard of the downward spiral in marriage. One negative word leads to another which leads to neglecting each other and so it begins. Oftentimes its harmless at first. It may start with off-handed criticisms said in a joking way. But such words are like little darts being thrown at your spouse. Overtime and with enough darts it can permanently wound, or even kill your relationship.
Don’t do it!
Let’s instead talk about ways to help our marriage spiral upwards. This won’t happen on it’s own. We must make intentional choices for the good of our spouse and marriage.
- Cuddle skin to skin. There is scientific evidence that proves when we connect skin-to-skin it releases oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone”. If you are feeling distanced from each other either due to schedules or conflict, try holding each other each night before sleeping and see if it doesn’t draw you closer mentally and emotionally as well. It may even lead to some physical intimacy–a gift married couples share alone.
- Pick a favorite love song and while it’s playing look each other in the eyes for the duration of the song. It may seem hokey at first, but there is something that happens when we slow down for even 5 minutes to give our spouse our full-attention.
- Hold hands wherever you are going, no matter what you’re doing. It signifies to your spouse that you are near, and it tells the world that you belong to each other.
- Play the Name 3 Game. When the kids are in bed and you are without distractions ask your spouse to name three of whatever category you choose. It could be restaurants to try, places to visit, recipes you’d like to learn to cook, or new positions for making love. Or it could be based on your emotions–3 times you’ve been the happiest or laughed the hardest.
- Play the romantic memory game. Spend an evening making a list of as many romantic memories you can each think of. Make it specific rather than broad and you’ll be surprised how quickly it adds up.
As you can see these are simple exercises that build intimacy together. We challenge you to spiral upward. We hear the views are incredible up there!
(Some of the above as well as the photo was found at Marriage.com)