There is something about relationships formed through blogs that are different than your normal face-to-face kind of friendships. You can have the same familiarity, the same understanding, the same biblical fellowship (relating with each other from a Christian, Bible-based worldview), but what’s missing is the human connection. When I meet a friend for coffee, I usually greet her with a hug. I’m from the South and this is what we do. But on-line friends can’t be hugged or touched. It takes intentionality to make those human connections happen.
We have met many of our on-line blogger friends through the years. In fact, we hosted a retreat in 2017 at our cabin with the Core Team of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association. It was a highlight to be surrounded with couples we have known from a distance and respect. We were able to share meals together, talk for hours and pray for each other and our ministries. It still amazes us how God brought us all together to form such a needed organization as the CMBA. But even more amazing is how these precious couples have made it into our hearts. They have helped our marriage by the outstanding information they regularly post and we have grown to love them dearly.
If you are new to our blog, you may get the impression that our marriage is perfect.
Ha! Five minutes with us in our home and you would see otherwise. We are just like you in many ways. We have good days, bad days, happy and sad days. We interrupt each other. And yes, we fail to meet the other’s expectations from time to time. Marriage is hard work and that never changes. Sure, we have come a long way and our good days far outweigh the difficult ones. But until we make it to Heaven, the Bible says we will have trouble.
Taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge has brought many new on-line acquaintances into our view. And I can already tell some will most likely become friends. Let this post serve as a virtual hug from our home to yours. You are welcome here and we count it a privilege to play a small part in helping your marriage succeed. Of course there are many other needed elements to help marriages become all God intends.
Our Top Ten list on how to help your marriage vineyard grow:
- Get involved in a local, Bible-believing church.
- Establish friendships with other couples in a similar season for support and encouragement.
- Connect with an older couple you respect to learn from their wisdom and example.
- Read good marriage books that inspire you to grow.
- Make date nights a regular event on your calendar.
- Listen well with your eyes when your spouse is speaking to you.
- Ask good questions.
- Don’t take “Fine” as the final answer when you ask you spouse how they are doing.
- Be quick to ask forgiveness when you have wronged each other. Letting it blow over isn’t the same as seeking forgiveness. This shuts the door on lingering bitterness.
- Humility is the soil where all other virtues grow. Practice this by dealing with your own heart issues before trying to fix what you perceive is wrong with your spouse.
“Just when we are most eager to make ourselves understood, we must strive to understand. Just when we seek to air our grievances, we must labor to comprehend another’s hurt. Just when we want to point out the fallacies and abusive behavior of someone else, we must ruthlessly evaluate our own offensive attitudes and behaviors.”
This is our 22nd post in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in April.