Top Ten Ways To Help A Marriage Vineyard Grow

Top Ten List of How To Help Your Marriage Vineyard Grow

There is something about relationships formed through blogs that are different than your normal face-to-face kind of friendships. You can have the same familiarity, the same understanding, the same biblical fellowship (relating with each other from a Christian, Bible-based worldview), but what’s missing is the human connection. When I meet a friend for coffee, I usually greet her with a hug. I’m from the South and this is what we do. But on-line friends can’t be hugged or touched. It takes intentionality to make those human connections happen.

We have met many of our on-line blogger friends through the years. In fact, we hosted a retreat in 2017 at our cabin with the Core Team of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association. It was a highlight to be surrounded with couples we have known from a distance and respect. We were able to share meals together, talk for hours and pray for each other and our ministries. It still amazes us how God brought us all together to form such a needed organization as the CMBA. But even more amazing is how these precious couples have made it into our hearts. They have helped our marriage by the outstanding information they regularly post and we have grown to love them dearly.

If you are new to our blog, you may get the impression that our marriage is perfect.

Ha! Five minutes with us in our home and you would see otherwise. We are just like you in many ways. We have good days, bad days, happy and sad days. We interrupt each other. And yes, we fail to meet the other’s expectations from time to time. Marriage is hard work and that never changes. Sure, we have come a long way and our good days far outweigh the difficult ones. But until we make it to Heaven, the Bible says we will have trouble.

Taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge has brought many new on-line acquaintances into our view. And I can already tell some will most likely become friends. Let this post serve as a virtual hug from our home to yours. You are welcome here and we count it a privilege to play a small part in helping your marriage succeed. Of course there are many other needed elements to help marriages become all God intends.

Our Top Ten list on how to help your marriage vineyard grow:

  1. Get involved in a local, Bible-believing church.
  2. Establish friendships with other couples in a similar season for support and encouragement.
  3. Connect with an older couple you respect to learn from their wisdom and example.
  4. Read good marriage books that inspire you to grow.
  5. Make date nights a regular event on your calendar.
  6. Listen well with your eyes when your spouse is speaking to you.
  7. Ask good questions.
  8. Don’t take “Fine” as the final answer when you ask you spouse how they are doing.
  9. Be quick to ask forgiveness when you have wronged each other. Letting it blow over isn’t the same as seeking forgiveness. This shuts the door on lingering bitterness.
  10. Humility is the soil where all other virtues grow. Practice this by dealing with your own heart issues before trying to fix what you perceive is wrong with your spouse.

“Just when we are most eager to make ourselves understood, we must strive to understand. Just when we seek to air our grievances, we must labor to comprehend another’s hurt. Just when we want to point out the fallacies and abusive behavior of someone else, we must ruthlessly evaluate our own offensive attitudes and behaviors.”
Gary L. Thomas, Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?


This is our 22nd post in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in April.


About Debi Walter

Tom and Debi have been sharing encouragements through their blogs for many years. Marriage, Reading God's Word and documenting family history is our focus. Growing in our relationship with the Lord is primary in all we say, write or do. We are grateful for all who desire to join us in the same endeavors.
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2 Responses to Top Ten Ways To Help A Marriage Vineyard Grow

  1. Cancer was the best thing
    to happen in my life,
    showing joy each day could bring,
    showing how to love my wife.
    The daily trials are washed away,
    that trivial hurtful mire,
    to let the Lord at last display
    that to which I might aspire.
    Gone is now the steamy mess
    of the angry tear-choked sauna;
    I now have a new address,
    a cool clean Norse Valhalla.
    When I thought to refuse to give
    it was death that taught me how to live.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Debi Walter says:

      I have never heard of the Norse Valhalla, so I looked it up. I think Heaven is a much better promise, no need to fight your battles any longer. But it doesn’t rhyme with “sauna”. Love this Andrew. Thank you for sharing with all of us.

      Liked by 1 person

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