My Smart Phone is only smart when it works. When it starts doing weird and unexplainable things, we’ve all learned it needs a reboot.

Marriage is no different.

We can know all the right things. We can even have years of success behind us. But when we get overextended or buried under stressful emotions, things don’t work like they should. Offenses are taken when they weren’t intended. Words are hard to find to explain why we did what we did. And worse we can falsely assume why our spouse did what they did or didn’t do. If these offenses are not dealt with a crash may be ahead.

Has this happened to you and your spouse?

It has to us. The last 4 years has brought us trauma and heartache such as we have never experienced in our 45 years of marriage. And worse we were both feeling the full blow. We were being assaulted from every direction and could hardly catch our breath, let alone find time to sort out the issues.

But finally by God’s grace, the Holy Spirit is breathing life into our hearts and marriage.

Once a phone is rebooted it works like new. That’s because the programmers built in the needed repair.

God has also built in us the ability to reboot our marriage.

It starts with repentance for sins committed against each other. No one is without sin, the Bible states. We all need to apologize from a sincere heart when we hurt our spouse. It is only then that God pours His rebooting grace all over our relationship.

The Bible also says, “He gives grace to the humble and opposes the proud.” Is your reboot not working? It may be you’re blaming the wrong person.

You see my phone can’t reboot itself if I’m blaming the problem on my husband’s phone. No, I have to admit my phone is at fault and turn it off to gain the proper perspective.

What do you need to turn off in your relationship? Is it sarcasm? A pointing finger? Maybe it’s a lack of empathy? Or worse critical judgments? Whatever it is, the Programmer of your heart knows what your marriage needs. Ask God and listen. It’s up to you to push the reboot button.

We are doing just that, and it feels good to reboot.

In our next post we’ll share ideas on what to do to move forward after a season of difficulty.

It also feels good to be writing again. I’ll share about that at some point, but for now let’s focus on breathing fresh perspectives into our marriage. It’s the most important relationship, after God, in this life.