Valentine’s Day is Sunday, but as Christians we should celebrate the love we share as husbands and wives regularly, not annually. If we are not pursuing our spouse with the same purpose and intent as when we first met, then it’s most likely we’ve begun to drift. Drifting can be relaxing – it takes no effort. However, boats that drift are led along by whichever current is the strongest. It could be children, career, hormones – you name it; you’re certainly heading “somewhere”, but not necessarily where you want to go.
How do we avoid drifting along year after year? By purposing to romance our spouse because it’s the right thing to do – even if our feelings aren’t on board.
Dennis says, “To ensure that we don’t miss the importance of romance, God dedicated an entire book of the Bible, Song of Solomon, to the subject. Reading this poetic book is like eavesdropping on a romantic dialogue between a man and his wife. Solomon describes his love as a hot fire. “Even much water,” he declares, “cannot put out the flame of love” (Song of Solomon 8:7, Contemporary English Version).We need that fire in our marriages. The problem is that within the first year or two after the wedding ceremony, something happens in most marriages. Those romantic flames which burned so brightly during engagement seem to crumble into faint, glowing embers.
What is it about marriage that seems to douse our romantic creativity? At some point in almost every marriage, a couple realizes that they just don’t experience the same romantic feelings they once enjoyed. As one person cynically observed, “The period of engagement is like an exciting introduction to a dull book.”
How sad – comparing marriage to a dull book! What can we do to prevent this from happening?
First, we encourage you to take this survey compiled by the Raineys – Do You Have The Heart Of A Lover? It will help you determine how you are currently doing in this regard. Secondly, have your spouse take it too. This will provide a great opportunity for you to talk about things you may or may not have taken the time to discuss. Best of all, it will help keep your marriage from drifting along on the sea of life. Communication is the rudder that steers our ship; Romance is what makes the voyage a joy, and God is the One who controls the currents we face. Beware! There are fierce pirates (the Bible calls them “little foxes”) that would love nothing more than to sabotage our marriage. We’ll talk about that in another post!
In the meantime, let’s practice purposeful communication and romance with our spouse on a regular basis. This will not only improve the quality of our relationship, but it will make Valentine’s Day one day on the calendar to celebrate gloriously what God has been doing all year long!