Bonus: For The Wives…

…Who are also called “Mommy!”

Today I offer you an excellent article by Barbara Rainey to consider as you romance your husband.  She shares a point which has always been strong on my heart as I purpose to love my husband.  Actually, it was Tom who guarded our relationship while our children were growing up.  I would have easily shifted my heart completely had he not purposed to keep our marriage first!  May you be encouraged and challenged!

Need Machines

BY BARBARA RAINEY

Over our doors are all choice fruits, both new and old, which I have saved up for you, my beloved. SONG OF SOLOMON 7:13

Without question, the biggest deterrent to romance for moms is children. These sweet, precious, innocent little ones given to us by God are also self-centered, untrained, unending “need machines” who can suck the life out of our marriage. They often leave us feeling like the mother who said, “It’s ironic. Romance gave us our children, and children ended our romance.” But motherhood can simply be a tempting excuse for giving up sex. Caught up in her day-in-day-out responsibilities, a mother can experience a slow shift in loyalty from husband to children. She thinks the needs of her children, since they are so helpless and formative, are more important than the needs of
her husband. After all, he’s an adult.

True. And yet one reason why this reasoning is faulty—one reason why it’s easy for us to have little sympathy for our husband’s sexual needs—is that we as women are able to experience our femaleness simply by nurturing our children. We feel fully alive as women when we’re caring for them (that is, when we’re not totally exhausted!). We feel a deep, innate sense of well-being and fulfillment; it is an indescribable privilege that brings us profound satisfaction. It’s what we were made to do.

But it’s only part of being a woman. God didn’t create you with the capacity and compulsion to nurture just for the sake of your children. He also meant for you to nurture life in your husband. Maintaining this balance is one of the biggest challenges of the parenting years; your children need to see Dad and Mom in love. Nurturing life in your husband may not be as automatic as it is with your children, but it is no less important. God will help you balance the needs of both husband and children when you depend upon Him.

DISCUSS
What are some practical, creative ways you both could keep romance alive, even when living in a house full of children?

PRAY
Pray for God’s wisdom in balancing life’s demands.

 

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 40 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
This entry was posted in Christian Marriage, Growing Strong Marriages, Hindrances to Romance, Wives and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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