Are You Defensive?

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It happens more often than not.  Drivers who must think they’ve been hired to test drive the swerving power of their vehicle.  They weave in and out of traffic as if I’m merely a harmless obstacle to dodge for fun.  I cringe when they come up on my rear bumper and change lanes at the last minute.  Sometimes I’m not sure they’ll miss, which would certainly send me spinning out of control.

I do what I can to help.

If I see them in time I move my car slightly to the opposite lane in an effort to keep them from clipping the corner of my car.

I drive defensively.  I have to, simply because there are many drivers who don’t.  They throw caution to the wind and leave me and many others shaking or angry in their path.

Driving defensively is a good thing.  It prevents many accidents and injuries.  And helps other drivers who may not be asking for help.

Marriage requires the same skill.

Two people who live together in the covenant bond of marriage are daily attempting to move along the road of life in the same direction.  If we’re not watching, when one person makes a sudden turn, we’ll be unprepared to swerve as needed in order to avoid a harmful collision.  Injury and pain can result.

I was having a difficult and emotional day recently and Tom, knowing my struggle did what he could to help. The kitchen was a mess, so he cleaned it without being asked.  In fact I wasn’t even in the room to notice right away.  But after a while, I walked in and found  everything clean and put away.  It made me smile and breathe a prayer of thanks for a man who is willing to love me even when I’m not very loving.  He in essence drove defensively around my bad attitude and helped me slow down and take notice of all the other cars on the road.  I don’t have the liberty to drive in my marriage as if what I do and say doesn’t affect those I love in a harmful way.  It does.

It hasn’t always been this way.  There have been plenty of times when I saw Tom coming with his car behind mine and rather than move over to give him room, I pressed the gas and challenged a race.  In this case, not only were there no winners, but both of us were losers.  As husbands and wives we know the buttons to push to provoke our spouse, like a dangerous race.  Are you as aware of how to avoid the danger?  It may be a simple as giving them some time alone to pray and regroup.  Or like in my case, cleaning up a messy kitchen.

Whatever the issue, we are on this journey together traveling the road God has set out for us.  We can either drive defensively helping each other avoid dangerous collisions, or challenge our spouse on every move they make.

I want to drive defensively.  It is good not only on the road, but for my marriage as well.

How about you?  Are you a defensive driver? 

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 40 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
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