by Kim Casali

As we continue our discussion of what Love is and isn’t as defined in the Bible, we are learning simple adjustments to make in how we relate to one another.  So far we’ve discussed these points:

• Love is patient and kind.

• Love does not envy or boast.

• Love is not arrogant or rude.

Today we’ll talk about how easy it is to insist on our own way!

Seeing this attitude as a way of NOT loving our spouse will help us change this detrimental habit.  As life happens we develop ways of relating to one another that we may not realize are unloving.

Looking at my own life, I see this way too often.  I don’t like it when my husband doesn’t come home when I want him to, or help out the way I want him to when he does walk in the door.  I see it when I’ve planned a special date night and those plans get altered in one way or another.  I see it when I’m tired and hoping for a break, and Tom gets a headache or is sick! I see it when we’re in the middle of an argument and Tom doesn’t see it my way.  I see it when Tom makes decisions that effects my life in ways I wasn’t expecting.  I’m confident my way is best, and I struggle with letting go.

Truth be told, what I’m really seeing inside my heart is the temper tantrum of a spoiled child competing for attention, wanting nothing  more than for things to go MY WAY.

Photo from More4kids.info

In order to grow in loving this way it’s important to realize it is two-fold;  I must not insist on my own way, but I must also embrace the way of another.  This can be my spouse’s way, God’s way, or someone else’s way (like cranky babies, unruly toddlers, or rebellious teens).  Love demands that I set aside my own agenda to serve another.

Now we’re not talking about being a door mat.

This kind of love must be committed to on both sides of the relationship to truly work.  However, it is possible to love an unloving spouse, we’ve seen it happen time and time again.  But today we’re talking about those in healthy relationships who choose the unloving way too often.  Embracing this kind of genuine love will deepen the bonds that unite our hearts as one.

It’s good to discuss at length with our spouse how they think we’re doing with this kind of love.  Objective communication about such topics helps tremendously when the subjective emotions give vent in our thinking tempting us to react in an unloving way.

Most importantly, we must pray and ask God for help!

Only He can enable us to deny ourselves and love our spouse in the same way He has loved us.  He was willing to lay His life down for me – am I willing to do the same for my spouse?

This is true love!

How does this scripture affect your marriage?  Are you walking in the truth of it, or are you just now seeing changes that need to take place?

Enjoy this video titled, “I Won’t Give Up,” by Jason Mraz: