We’ve heard comedians and mothers say it: What part of ALL don’t you understand?
If God’s Word tells us Love Believes All Things, who are we to insert a BUT where it doesn’t belong. Certainly we’re not talking about situations where the trust in a marriage has been broken by an unfaithful spouse, but given the normal struggles and difficulties of married life we must take up the mantle of believing the best of our spouse!
This includes how we communicate with them in public and in private.
There were times in our relationship when I questioned the validity of what Tom was saying. I didn’t realize I was doing this until a good friend pointed out how often I was correcting Tom’s facts in casual conversation. He would share something, and I would interject facts I felt were necessary. This is a little thing, but it revealed a huge area of pride in my heart. I was thinking more highly of myself and my ability to share the story than I was believing the best of Tom and letting him tell the story the way he saw it. It was as if a light went off in my head – I no longer had to carry the responsibility for what Tom did or didn’t say. And you know what I discovered? Just how amazing Tom is! I love listening to him talk. I love believing the best about him instead of being suspicious of his every word.
In private, it’s just as important to believe the best of our spouse. When they apologize for forgetting something we asked them to do – we choose to believe them, rather than stew over all the reasons we “think” they purposed to forget our request. We can become suspicious of our spouse’s motives if we’re not paying attention to this command in Scripture. What thoughts do we allow to float through our minds in regard to suspicion? Do we play detective looking for proof of the guilty verdict we’ve already declared? Or do we look for all the reasons to believe the best, thus silencing the judge within?
My husband excels at believing the best. He has motivated me by his example to strive for excellence in this area. God, who is perfect love, will help us “put off” suspicion and “put on” trust. It is the foundation of the strongest relationships.
We live in a society that thrives on being critical of everyone! Let’s go against the flow by choosing to believe the best instead of looking for the worst. It’s a much more loving way to live – and it glorifies God!