I remember hearing as a young adult when considering my future husband to pay attention to how he treated his mother. This was said to be a great indicator of his real character.
Through the years I’ve come to see this as wisdom.
It makes me wonder if the reverse is true as well. A daughter/son should be able to know what they wants in a spouse based on how their parent treated them growing up. This will make those reading this post either smile or cringe based on how well you think you’ve been doing.
But really it isn’t a judgment on one’s behavior as much as it is a barometer of the heart.
You see, we are all more sinful and flawed than we realize, but we’re also more loved and accepted than we dared hope. As a mom, I struggled in training my children the way I should. I often gave in to sinful, angry responses to their misbehavior rather than lovingly leading them the way Christ had led me. It was a continual fountain of sinful behavior followed by sincere repentance. Through the years God slowly changed my heart, which in turn changed my behavior. So often we get it backwards; we work on our behavior to no avail and skip the one thing that is needed for change–repentance. Only God can change a sinful heart and as we cooperate with the Holy Spirit’s convictions, we will change. It is a promise.
So I encourage those who are struggling with daily failures to be the wife/husband, mother/father you want to be, to look up to the only One who can change your sinful heart.
- Honestly assess where you are in this regard.
- Talk to your spouse to get their perspective.
- Pray and repent to God where needed and ask Him to help you change.
- Then be obedient to His lead each day.
The good news is He has promised to complete the work He’s begun in us, and He will be faithful to do it. He can be no other way. And imagine how this will help our children choose their future spouse?
How easy has it been for you to honestly deal with your own sinful heart? with your spouse’s sinful heart? What is one thing you are currently working with the Holy Spirit to help you change? Does your spouse know about it?