To Perpetuate or Percolate


You might be wondering where we’ve been, or you might not have missed us at all. But in either case, we feel it necessary to explain our absence.

I just returned from hosting my first ladies retreat at Barefoot Cabin in Banner Elk, NC. It involved no teaching really, just lots of time to be alone with God in order to hear Him speak, and speak He did! From the moment I sat in my quiet place He began leading me to address many questions I didn’t know I had been asking. He was so kind to not only hear me, but to answer my questions with clarity.

There were many things, but the one I want to share with you today concerns you–our friends who follow us on The Romantic Vineyard.

You see, I have a tendency to keep doing the same things over and over for years on end when I know it’s a good thing. Like my quiet times of reading God’s Word daily. This is a practice I plan to never stop doing. But other things I love doing are often never considered by me as to when or if I should stop doing it. It’s something I normally wouldn’t consider.  The Lord said I tend to perpetuate my duties, believing I’m supposed to do them forever without ever asking Him otherwise. This is wrong.

Perpetuate means to last indefinitely. And it is my comfortable spot, where I know what I do and I keep on doing it regardless of the fact that God might not be in it any longer.

God has given me another word with which He wants me to replace perpetuate; it’s percolate.

Percolate means to permeate; penetrate gradually.

Posting daily on The Romantic Vineyard has become a perpetual duty that I enjoy. But God is leading me to pause and let posts percolate in my heart and mind before writing a single word. It may be I write day after day, or there might be weeks between posts. I’m not sure. What I DO know is God wants me to wait on His direction and His timing to post, not by perpetuating the well-worn path I’ve created.

When I shared all this with Tom he couldn’t have agreed more.

He has sensed something was off in regards to The Romantic Vineyard, but couldn’t put his finger on it. We are both relieved to know that God isn’t calling us to stop our ministry on-line, but He is wanting to increase our connections with those with whom we’re called to live life together in our local church. They are the ones who know us well and can help us grow in our personal life, in our marriage and in our ministry. It is important and necessary to have face-to-face relationships like this. Sadly, social media provides a false sense of relationship that can be detrimental to our growth in godliness. We must have friends in our lives who are willing to speak to us the things we need to hear. Things that our on-line friends will never say because they observe us from a distance and know only those things we’re willing for them to know.

While we love providing godly encouragement for Christian couples in their marriage, it can never replace the importance of being involved in real-time with those whom God has knit our hearts together in our church.

Another thing is after five years of posting, The Romantic Vineyard offers lots of posts on all sorts of topics. When we aren’t posting new material, we encourage you to scroll down to our categories list and find something you know your marriage is currently needing to hear.

Finally, we want to challenge you to take time and consider your current level of responsibility. Are you doing the things you do out of conviction or habit? Are you willing to ask God to give you the answer to this question? If so, be ready to hear His thoughts. It might just mess up your normal routine, but that’s a good thing!

P.S. We offered an invitation to enter our 5th blogiversary Most Romantic Table Photo Contest, but we didn’t receive any entries. So, if you have one please send it in asap. If not, we’ll cancel the contest and see it as another way God was getting our attention. ❤

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 36 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
This entry was posted in 5th Blogiversary Most Romantic Table Challenge, Growing Strong Marriages, Priorities, The Romantic Vineyard. Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to To Perpetuate or Percolate

  1. Your ministry to couples is a blessing to many, including me. But I respect your sensitivity to what God is saying to you during this season. Whenever you post, your words will bring help, comfort and encouragement. Love you, friend!

    • Debi Walter says:

      Thank you, Sheree. I feel as if this is a new adventure where God is taking control of my schedule in regards to my writing. I feel such peace and excitement–which is refreshing! Love you too.

  2. ginalawson says:

    I may not check in very often Debi and Tom, but I like knowing you’re there. I’m not really a religious person, but your words do give me faith that I’m doing ok. I’ve never had to question my incredible marriage, but sometimes when you post something it reminds me to do something special, different or just to say I love him an extra time that day.
    Much love to you both xx

    • Debi Walter says:

      Dear Gina,
      I feel the same about you and your blog. I don’t visit often, but when I do it always brings a smile to my face. You hold a special place in my heart and you always will. I’m truly excited for you and your husband in this new season for you! Romance may get a bit more challenging with a little one to care for again, but it will be so worth it.
      Blessings to you friend,

  3. Kathy says:

    I will miss your posts, but, I do understand where you are coming from. Many times we get into a habit of just doing something because it is the norm for us. I too have been in a norm of life and I am now stepping out of my comfort zone and doing things I have never done before and trusting God to lead my steps. I pray for guidance for you and all of us who have followed you and Tom on this page. We will see you soon….. until then … blessed…just as you have been a blessing to many of us here.

    • Debi Walter says:

      I don’t mean to give the impression that we’re quitting the blog. I will still be posting often, but not on a daily basis. You are such an encourager–thank you!

  4. Vanessa Marks says:

    Thank you Debi and Tom, I have followed your post for some time now. It is and will continue to be a blessing to many. Many of the ideas I have used in my church with couples, singles and season saints. Love the God in you both. BE BLESS…….

    • Debi Walter says:

      Thank you Vanessa. We’re so grateful you’ve enjoyed our ideas and posts. I would love to hear how you’ve used some of our ideas with your church–that’s intriguing.

  5. Well done for following where God is leading … better giving *some* great posts, rather than *loads* of mediocre ones.

    I don’t blog about such profound matters as you do, but I wonder if my blog is coming to a natural end … I think it may work as ‘A Few Years on the Croft’ 🙂

    • Debi Walter says:

      It’s always good to know that what we’re spending our time doing is what God would have us do. Even good things have to come to an end sometime, and I’m not one who likes endings. But it is good!

  6. Sarah Curry says:

    Your sense of God asking you to perculate is a great picture of choosing the best for the better. Good! Continue choosing His best, I’ll continue to enjoy what you feel led to write about. I stumbled 🙂 into your website a few months back and have begun to share on my FB site the personally meaningful posts you’ve written. It’s been a joy to have conversations around them from acquaintances… now friends because of your willingness to share first.

    Thank you!
    a new found friend in Michigan.

    • Debi Walter says:

      What a nice comment. Thank you so much. I pray that the posts you read from now on will be much more worth your while as I won’t be filling up a day’s post just to do so, but I’ll be posting when I have something really important to say. Such a small shift, but it makes all the difference.
      Blessings to you “my new found friend in Michigan”. Keep warm.

  7. Sarah Curry says:

    ps…here’s my romantic table. We enjoyed a Seder meal with our small group at Passover. What a delight!

  8. I love The Romantic Vineyard, but I love you more! You have explained so well what God is saying to you that I believe it will challenge many people to pause and consider prayerfully the things they automatically do. I look forward to many more posts that challenge and encourage my marriage, and I look forward to many more times when we can do that to each other face-to-face.

  9. It’s all good. Fewer posts usually means they are more thoughtful and it gives your reader more time to let your perspectives settle in. I scan a lot of blogs every day, but I try to take one or two to meditate on and personalize. Less is more.

    • Debi Walter says:

      Yes, Lori. The less words we use the less likely we are to slip into a dangerous field. The Bible says in the abundance of words sin abounds. How true this can be for blogs too. Less is more!
      Thank you for your encouragement and your understanding. It means a lot.

  10. blest wife says:

    As Lori, above, stated; I’m finding less is more. We have such a passion for our own marriage and to see other marriages thrive and we’ve found so many great resources online which has been fantastic. But if I take the time to read all of them on a regular basis, I don’t have the time to do other things that need to be done. We have certainly loved your blog and website and we will continue to read it and recommend it to others but truthfully, I’ve been finding I’m needing to unsubscribe to companies and websites that send emails every day. I won’t unsubscribe to yours and that makes that decision easier for us knowing they won’t be coming as often. Even when things are so good, sometimes too much of a good thing is still too much. I love the fact that God spoke to you, you are listening and obeying and it got confirmed to you by your husband. I love when God orchestrates all that. I hope my post to you is just another confirmation to you and we’ll continue to look forward to your percolated Holy Spirit led posts. Thanks again for all you do to encourage marriages. Oh how it’s needed in this life we’re living. Blest by you, Vickie

    • Debi Walter says:

      What a wonderful encouragement. I love what you said, “Even when things are so good, sometimes too much of a good thing is still too much. I love the fact that God spoke to you, you are listening and obeying and it got confirmed to you by your husband. I love when God orchestrates all that. I hope my post to you is just another confirmation to you and we’ll continue to look forward to your percolated Holy Spirit led posts.”
      Yes, too much of a good thing can even be worse than too much of a bad thing, because it quenches our desire for the good. Thank you for being part of our group here, and for taking the time to encourage us with your confirmation. It is greatly appreciated!

  11. All things for a time – in His time – but thankful you’ll continue to share online when you’re prompted. I’m sure those you spend your personal time with, will value your added attention.

    • Debi Walter says:

      I can’t believe how freeing it already is to me. I was able to get in the car spontaneously today and visit a friend whom I haven’t seen in a long time. It was her birthday, so it was fun to be there to encourage her face-to-face.
      Love you and the way your encourage me. Thank you!

  12. Kate says:

    I am personally so thankful for your willingness to follow God’s calling no matter what!! So thankful!

  13. Bette says:

    Tom & Debi,
    May I first say hallelujah. Your very words blessed me. I only subscribe to 3 blogs. Romantic Vineyard, Cheri Gregory’s and To Love, Honor & Vacuum. It probably sounds wimpy but there are days these 3 are too much. I was so thankful Cheri cut her blog back or maybe she never posted as often. I love what God has led you 3 girls to write about & minister to. Frankly I was starting to skim through some days on all of them and I thought this is not good. I was thinking too much of the same thing and I swear there were weeks all 3 of you would write about the same subject matter. I was thinking about cutting back and I was feeling a bit disloyal. I nipped that in the bud right away. I have always been a face to face girl myself so I was so pleased God placed this on your hearts and you listened. You have so much to offer someone in need of good advice and wisdom. You will definitely be blessed for your obedience. I am a grateful reader and wish you all the best. Sorry I was so long. Jimineeze!!

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