Words From Friends Part One – Some Not So Wise

IMG_1373Today we share the first part of a two part series on Words of Wisdom received from Friends. This is the third week in our CMBA challenge for October. 

I remember when Tom and I first got engaged, it was unbelievable how many people said things like:

→ Just wait, the excitement won’t last.

→ You’re happy now, but wait until you have kids.

→ You know more marriages end in divorce now than ever.

I was only 19 when we were married. These comments didn’t deter my resolve to marry Tom, but it sure put added pressure on me during such a transitional time. I knew I loved Tom. I knew God had confirmed to me that he was to be my husband. But I was afraid. I was afraid to leave the only home and city I had ever known to embrace a place that was completely new. I’ve never been one to embrace change, and this was one change that I knew would last forever!

How quick we are to say things without giving regard to how they will effect the hearer. Do your words speak faith or fear to those you love? Do you see the sunny side or the dark side? Are the words you choose wise or foolish? Does it matter? YES, it absolutely matters!

Our words have power to curse or to bless, the Bible tells us.

When we encounter someone who is embarking on a new adventure we should encourage them instead of sounding all the alarms at once. Of course, we must wisely know when an alarm should be sounded, but oftentimes it’s encouragement that’s needed, not reproof.

Tom and I purposed that our marriage would last, that divorce wouldn’t be an option–ever. And by God’s grace we’ve weathered every storm (and there have been many) together. We discovered that we became a better “us” after the storms had passed. Only God can allow the winds of adversity to blow and rearrange us in the process to not bring destruction, but healing. Amazing! Sad to realize that many couples walk away, even run when the storm clouds begin to build and miss out on this miracle in marriage.

This is why we post “Healthy Marriage Tips” on our Facebook page each and every day. We want to be a positive voice to marriages that need encouragement to keep moving forward through the stormy days as well as the sunny ones.

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About Debi Walter

Tom and Debi have been sharing encouragements through their blogs for many years. Marriage, Reading God's Word and documenting family history is our focus. Growing in our relationship with the Lord is primary in all we say, write or do. We are grateful for all who desire to join us in the same endeavors.
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5 Responses to Words From Friends Part One – Some Not So Wise

  1. Pingback: Your Spouse’s Opinion Matters |

  2. Great blog, this statement struck me: Do your words speak faith or fear to those you love?
    I know there have been times in life when I have been that voice of fear, this is really something to think about when discussing marriage with a couple, speak life. Thanks for all of your great posts!


    • Debi Walter says:

      Thank you for stopping by Lisa. It’s good to connect. Yes, our words matter than we realize, and reigning in this one aspect of our marriage can effect it more than we know. Our words affect every other aspect of marriage–our friendship, our intimacy, our finances, our peace–the list goes on and on. Thanks for highlighting that part of the post. Hopefully it will draw the attention of others as well.


  3. Thanks for posting about this. As a young married who looks forward to kids, I get tired of hearing, “Just you wait until you have kids! You’ll never sleep again . . . They’re going to run around like crazy. . . Etc.”
    Gee, thanks, I think.
    I tell them that I’ll figure that out when I get there.
    I love my husband and I love my kids, even though they aren’t here on earth yet.


    • Debi Walter says:

      Julie, im so sorry there are still people who wish to dampen the joy of a current season. Dont let them! God will give new mercies for each day, no need to borrow tomorrow’s trouble.
      Thanks for commenting.


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