Biblical Love Language

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We’ve heard so much about the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and it is a good book. But there are reasons it falls short to some degree. 

First of all, when we place expectations on our spouse to love us the way we want to be loved, our focus is in the wrong place–ourselves! Instead our attention must be on loving our spouse and giving 100% to the marriage to bless them.

Secondly, when our spouse makes efforts to express love to us, but it isn’t “my love language”, it’s easy to jump to the unfair conclusion that my spouse just doesn’t get me. Those thoughts are also focused in the wrong place–ME!

Thirdly, the love languages are meant to be a helpful tool, not the 5th gospel of the Word of God. Use it only as a means to study your spouse and to help you love them in more meaningful ways, but don’t use it to judge your spouse’s efforts.

Finally, focus on loving your spouse using the highest love language of all–The Biblical Love Language. Not sure what that is? It’s loving our spouse in the same way God through Christ has loved us. It’s not self-focused, but rather focused on doing all we can to express the fruits of the Spirit towards our mate: love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I’m certain that if you love your spouse in this way, with a heart to glorify God, your marriage will grow stronger and your love will grow sweeter as the years pass.

Read the following verses evaluating how well you’re loving your spouse speaking this eternal love language:

  • John 15:12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.”
  • 1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
  • Luke 6:31 “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
  • Galations 5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

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*Focus on loving your spouse using the highest love language of all–The Biblical Love Language found in Galations 5:22-23

*If you love your spouse with a heart to glorify God, your marriage will grow stronger and sweeter as the years pass.

*When we place expectations on our spouse to love us the way we want to be loved, our focus is in the wrong place-ME.

*When my spouse expresses love to me, but it isn’t my love language, it’s easy to jump to the conclusion that my spouse just doesn’t get me.

*The love languages are meant to be a helpful tool, not the 5th gospel of the Word of God. Use it only as a means to study your spouse.

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 36 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
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3 Responses to Biblical Love Language

  1. princevinco says:

    What a great post, Debi. You really summarized the post by this statement, “I’m certain that if you love your spouse in this way, with a heart to glorify God, your marriage will grow stronger and your love will grow sweeter as the years pass”.

    If couples will learn to be committed to their marriages. It is the level of our commitment to our marriages that determine how far we can use the love language. It is when we are deeply committed to our marriages that love flows freely from our heart instead of being a struggle. If you are not committed to your marriage, you will see that love language will be fake as it does not come from our heart.

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    • Debi Walter says:

      Thank you so much for commenting. Commitment is a huge part of a successful marriage, including commitment to love and honor God by fulfilling the marriage vows we made to Him and our spouse on our wedding day.
      Blessings,
      Debi

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  2. Pingback: Is Your Husband A Liar? with Debi Walter | Hot, Holy & Humorous

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