originally posted July 17, 2012

It’s amazing how much energy is required to raise a family, yet with each baby that’s born time doesn’t slow down. It marches on whether you’re in step or not. How can a couple continue to make the most of their marriage relationship when their children demand so much so much of the time. It would be easy to give up.

This is why we’re focusing an entire week on this topic. Our prayer is that you’ll actually have time to read our posts. We promise to make our ideas quick to read, easy to implement and with no guilt attached.

Part 1 – I’m Exhausted

Having babies, nursing babies, potty training toddlers and disciplining young children take a lot of commitment and hard work. It is part of the job parents must embrace from life’s first cry. For those who aren’t prepared for the work, it can leave your relationship on the back burner where romance can quickly cool.

How do you keep the romance alive without neglecting your children? We believe it’s not as difficult as it sounds. The key is kindness. Be aware of the needs your spouse has each day, and do all in your power to treat them kindly offering to help if possible.

Husbands of Exhausted Wives:

• Offer to take the kids so your wife can do whatever she wants, sleep, shop, cook, etc. The idea is to give her time to enjoy the quiet.
• Clean the kitchen for her or another household chore she dreads doing, or just hasn’t had time to get to.
• Take the nighttime duty for her one night so she can get a full night’s sleep.
• Comfort her by listening and understanding her frustrations. Don’t be quick to offer a solution either. Many times she isn’t looking for an answer–just someone to understand her struggle.
• Don’t lead the conversation or reply by saying, “if you would only do…” This is guaranteed to be received in the wrong way. When your wife is exhausted is not the time to address an area in need of improvement, unless of course, you’re willing to do it for her for a season.
• Take the lead in dealing with unruly children and handling the discipline when you’re around. If your wife stays at home all day with the children she has been doing this for hours. Not only will you bless your wife, but your children will benefit from having your involvement.

Wives of Exhausted Husbands:

•  Give your husband time to be alone when he comes home from work. Make it a set amount of time–say, 30 minutes, so he can readjust his focus from work to home.
• Welcome him home each night by teaching the children to anticipate Daddy’s home!
• If a neat and clean house is appreciated by him, make sure the main room and your bedroom is in order when he comes home.
• Do one of his chores for him.
• Make his favorite meal so he smells it when he walks in the door.
• Give him a night out with the guys.

But what about when you’re BOTH exhausted? We’ll talk about that tomorrow.

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