A Time For Everything…

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Every marriage faces different seasons. Some you see coming and others take you by surprise with a phone call. Being aware of this helps us adjust when the winds change–rather than get blown away by the emotional roller coaster, we cling to each other holding on tight until the wind subsides.

Tom and I have been in such a season.

It began on October 25th when we got a phone call from a hospital in Belize. His Mom and Stepdad had been on a cruise when she fell and broke her hip. After being airlifted from Belize to Ft. Lauderdale, Tom had to leave right away in order to meet their arriving flight. He stayed with them until she had surgery and was released to travel back to Orlando via a non-emergency medical transportation service.

Suddenly all our plans were canceled and a new urgency was put on us–caring for his mom and stepdad. He was focused on them, and I was focused on him. Decisions were weighty and the waiting was numbing. Prayers were constant and God’s help never felt nearer. We took life one day at a time. We had no idea if this would be a short season or a long season, but we were confident in the One who knew. So we did what we had to do each day.

On Saturday, January 28th shortly before 10p. the winds stilled and his Mom took her last breath. The fight was over and she was at peace. One season ended and another one began–grieving the loss of someone whom we loved deeply and was our biggest fan.

I didn’t meet Tom’s mom until the week of our wedding in 1979. I was afraid it would be awkward and that she wouldn’t accept me. I couldn’t have been more wrong.  She loved me because her Tommy loved me, and anyone he loved she was sure to love as well.  I realized then I didn’t have a Mother-in-LAW. God had blessed me with a Mother-in-LOVE, and for almost four decades she has been gift to me.

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Tom has called her every morning for as long as I can remember. He honored her. He cared for her. He enjoyed sharing his moments with her no matter where we were, whether on a mountain top or standing by the sea. He included her in his joy.

She loved to cook and she was good at it too. She loved to see us well-fed and happy. I never tired of getting a call from her thanking me for loving her Tommy the way I do. In fact, I still have a voicemail on my phone with these words…

“I don’t want to forget to tell you this, and I’m forgetting a lot these days…thank you for sharing your Tommy with me today. I love you very much.”

I will miss her. Tom’s only sister is also a Debbie so she called her “My Debbie”, and I was affectionately called, “Tommy’s Debi”. I love the way she loved all of us, and our lives are the better for it.

I love you, Mom. Thank you for raising such a man who knows how to love deeply. I am grateful to God for you. You will be missed, especially in the mornings when Tom used to call you. But we will  never forget you or the influence you’ve had on our lives. We are better for it! Until we meet again, I remain…

Affectionately His,

Tommy’s Debi

About Debi Walter

Face it, marriage is hard work. But when cultivated daily the fruit produced will satisfy for a lifetime. We're here to help with ideas and encouragement along the way. Having been married 36 years and counting, we share what we've learned with practical tips, Biblical Truths, Date night ideas to help you plow your own vineyard for God's glory.
This entry was posted in Caring for Parents, Christian Marriage, Death and Grieving, Difficulty, Growing Strong Marriages, In-Laws, Seasons of Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to A Time For Everything…

  1. Vickie says:

    So very sorry for your loss, Tom & Debi! May God comfort you both as only He can. Thank you for sharing that precious pic with us.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. email708 says:

    You and Tom and your family have been through so very much! I’m so sorry to read of Tom’s mom’s death and your daughter’s health issues and hysterectomy. All of this had to be so very difficult for you and your family. That’s a lot to take in and sort out! Please know we are praying for you. We love you guys so much and pray the Lord takes care of your every need — within your family, and within your marriage. May you draw closer together as you learn to adjust to new “normals” that have blown into your lives.

    We’ll catch up together soon. We have a full house of family right now, with more coming in on the 14th. There is a lot of activity (we sure do understand why God gives us kids when we’re younger… how we love the grandkids, but they sure can drain the energy out of you… happily so). Please give Tom an extra hug for us. We love you both and pray for you. Look for the smiles, whenever you can 🙂 ~ Cindy Wright (Marriage Missions)

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  3. So sorry about this Debbi. Though we know she is at peace with her Heavenly Father, it is still painful to lose a loved one. I pray that God will comfort you, Tom and the entire family at this time.

    Liked by 1 person

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